I’m a bad man

November 30, 2012 90 comments
lindt chocalate

Lindt chocalate courtesy of Bing images

So I’ve been away from blogging world for almost 3months now.  No need to discuss what I was up to, but this blog needs to happen ASAP, because it’s eating me up.

My wife is a tri athlete and we are both middle aged.  Problem is it takes enormous amount of work to keep the body she has and actually lot more work because she is a middle aged woman.  I try to be as understanding as possible but it is freakin hard when I rarely see her sometimes and I have to take care of the kids and take care of the house, on top of everything else I gotta take care of while she is doing her thing.  On this particular day I was really annoyed because it was months from her first triathlon event and she was training every freakin day!  I was so pissed because I was so f’in tired as hell and first thing she does is leave when I come home.  I don’t see her till the next morning because she practically lives in the gym/pool.

When a man gets tired and upset beyond his max limit, he is destined to do something really dumb.  I mistakenly made series of mistake that caused great remorse…all over one little bad decision I made.  This day started with same ol same ol.  I come home, she says goodbye, I feed the kids, bath them, and I put them down to sleep.  I think this evening was quieter than other evenings and maybe I had little more difficult time at the office than other days.  I didn’t eat dinner so I was hungry, but didn’t have appetite for anything.  As I’m moping around on the couch thinking how shitty my life was, I ended up reaching for the phone.  I called our babysitter to come over ASAP.  I went upstairs to shower groom and put on something nice for the evening.  At this point I was committed to going through with what I planned.

The babysitter arrived at the door, I let her in and I told her that kids are asleep so it shouldn’t be too bad.  I told her I had somewhere to go and that I should be back in about 2hours.  I got in the car and I drove straight to Ruth Chris steakhouse and dined by myself.

I later got home and I really prayed(knelt down), for improvement and wishing my wife wasn’t so into fitness and health.  This was a prayer I would later regret because it was done 3days before the 1st triathlon event of the year.

The very next day was our coed volleyball game.  We ran a routine play where I’m setting from the back row and my wife was switching from middle to outside hitter position.  Nobody can explain what happened during that moment.  My wife just stood in the middle while everybody else was shifting around for the offensive setup.  Nobody touched her but somehow she just spun around and BADLY tore her right ankle.  I knew this was serious because she couldn’t get up and she was in tears.  She went to see the doctor and was devastated to learn that she wouldn’t be able to walk for a very long time; she will miss her 1st triathlon of the year.  The doctor and I also knew she was probably finished for rest of the year.  If you’ve ever had your impossible prayer answered, you know what I was feeling, I was in shock.  I felt so much guilt at this point as you can imagine, I couldn’t believe what just happened.

My wife does not know what I prayed about the night before her accident.  I would see my wife in crutches and ankle support and I just felt terrible.  I thought one way I can mitigate the situation was to make her feel comfortable and happy as possible.  Some of her favorite comfort snacks are Lindt chocolates and potato chips.  I went out and purchased enough chips and Lindt chocolates to last a whole year….so I thought.  My wife was putting away a whole package of Lindt chocolates every other day!  In two months she put on about 15pounds and I can visually see that she has gotten softer and larger.  I then realized if I keep this up my wife may completely give up on fitness.  I was having all sorts of selfish and evil thoughts.  What if she puts on additional 50 pounds and she completely gives up on fitness, wouldn’t my life be sooooo much better?  I loved having my wife home and having a full house.  House looked clean, smelled clean, and it felt like a real family.

To be continued in part 2

Categories: family, wife

Wanted Caddyshack DVD but ended up with a lab microscope instead

September 23, 2012 31 comments

This sums it up

Here is a quick summary paragraph if you don’t care about all the details.  This blog is about how I ended up purchasing a super discounted lab grade microscope because a blogger reminded me how badly I wanted to watch Caddyshack (popular 80s movie).

My incident with sale sites such as Ebay and Amazon is legendary, when my wife is out of town.  Those that follow my blog probably know about my 1973 Swedish military truck purchase and the carbon fiber wheelset purchase.   Yesterday started out innocent enough.  My wife is out of town and I’m out of town with my 2 boys, for a nice quiet weekend getaway.  Earlier in the week, I started having conversation over some 80’s movies.  It’s really hard to stop an 80’s discussion when it was such a nostalgic period for me.  Long story short, the conversation concluded with an urgency and a burning need to watch Caddyshack, ASAP.

My quest started with my local RedBox movie rental box on the way to the vacation…unfortunately, Caddyshack was not available.

I also checked the local grocery store near the hotel.  Luckily, they were having a big sale on all the old DVD movies! But, unfortunately, no Caddyshack showed up even after about 45minutes of probing and flipping through bottomless pit of old unwanted DVDs.  By then my two little boys were pissed at me for wasting their pool time…lol.  No biggie, I can always sign up for Hulu or Netflix and watch it when kids go down for bed…so I thought.

Kids had a wonderful pool time, fried chicken dinner, and ice-creamy (that what they call a good tasting ice cream).  Woo hoo, they went to bed and it was my time to fly!

I rush to get the laptop and my headset, lunge into my comfy bed, and I start putting all the pillows together to build a man-throne, I was set!

hurry…quickly…hulu+[cntrl & enter]…sign up for membership…search Caddyshack.  Damn! They only had trailers of the movie!

hurry…quickly…netflix+[cntrl & enter]…sign up for membership…search Caddyshack.  Double damn!! Bunch of golf swing videos and no Caddyshack the movie!

On to Bing search for ‘watch Caddyshack movie’.  Among all the questionable sites and torrents, I see a one result that was simply heavenly.  Amazon.com came up, I clicked on it, and sure enough they have streaming service, too!  Lucky me I am already a long time Amazon member, and $2.99 for 48hour streaming rental was very reasonable.

Everything was all downhill after that.  Time was 10:30pm and I figure I’ll just peruse through their deal page for few minutes.

Folks let me tell you about the deal they had on Amazon…it was a $1200 microscope that was on sale at over 80% off!  I had a few thoughts,

  1.  I didn’t know a microscope was so expensive
  2. I bet it will be fun to see what is in my drinking water
  3. I better buy it before it sells out

Followed by reasoning phase,

  1.  Why do I need a professional level microscope when a professional level water analysis is only $20?
  2. It’s huge and weights over 10lbs, where can I put it?
  3. What would the wife say when she finds out?

And lastly, the justification phase,

  1.  I need it because it can do more than just look at drinking water.  Maybe I can find a cure for certain blood disorder, or at least look at a fish tail when it gets ich disease.
  2. Well…we do have the dining room that never gets used.  I can probably put it on the corner of the table and nobody would even know it’s there.
  3. Maybe she’ll be proud I’m making positive progress buying things on Amazon and Ebay.  It’s probably better than the old 1973 Swedish military vehicle and all the carbon fiber goodies for my bicycle.  Microscope is educational and maybe it will encourage our boys to become a brain surgeon or a neuro-scientist, because their daddy took the heat for the microscope and stood up for their future! [insert ‘U.S.A…U.S.A’ chant here]

It was about 12am by the time the microscope was in the shopping cart and I’m thoroughly going through every single review on the scope.  I was really hoping to find the one comment that would explain why this thing was 83% off and why I need to back out of the deal.  Every reviewer was in full agreement that this scope does EVERYTHING.

The biggest coincident occurred when I got a reply comment from the same blogger that basically paved the way for me to get this microscope, reply comment came as I was putting my credit card info in the checkout box.  I had a chuckle with her explanation for this purchase on a whim,

‘THE ultimate man reason…. “because it was on sale” hahaha doesn’t matter WHAT it is….’

Christina is a wonderful blogger and she loves her Caddyshack and Spaceballs.  Check out her blogsite @

http://reconstructingchristina.com/

She asked if I saw the movie yet and it dawned on me, it was now about 1am and I was SUPPOSE to watch Caddyshack hours ago!  All I wanted to do for the evening was purchase the Caddyshack rental for $2.99, but somehow I ended up with a Lab LED Binocular Compound Microscope with Double Layer Mechanical Stage.

You guys are probably thinking the exact same thing I’m thinking right now; there is something wrong with this society when it’s so much easier to buy a lab grade microscope over one of the greatest comedy movies of all time…lol

My road trip back home should be interesting.  I have to train the boys to say the “right” thing. Three of us need to have a consistent story when mommy finds out whats in that brown smiley box from Amazon.  I will also make my wife a nice soothing Lipton tea, when the box arrives.  Did I mention I bundled the Lipton purchase with my microscope purchase?  144count tea bags for $3.99, it was 79% off 🙂

Not losing any more focus, this weekend isn’t over yet, and I will watch Caddyshack this evening!

Categories: children, family, humor, wife

Route in Google Earth and transfer to Garmin GPS (part 2)

September 21, 2012 2 comments

Updated 9/21/12 using google earth version 6.2.2.6613

In this guide you will learn how to get any sketched or routed path from Google Earth directly to your Garmin GPS.

I got an email request for an update to using standalone Google Earth software with a Garmin GPS.  Everybody knows I stive to keeping perfect customer satisfaction rating, so here is my update.  Please refer to part 1 if you are still using older version of Google Earth.  This post will be using Google’s latest v. 6.2.2.6613.

There are several ways to get info into your personal GPS, but this method is the cheapest method(free) without having to sign up for another web account service.  Besides, its just so cool when you can integrate Google earth with any GPS.

1. Install GoogleEarth for your computer

2. Install Garmin Mapsource

3. Reboot your machine

4. Start your GoogleEarth

5a.  There are two options now.  You can use “Add Path” icon from Google earth to sketch your route.  Once you are done sketching goto step11.

5b.  or if you want Google Earth’s calculated directions proceed to step 6.

6. Create all your “Placemarks” first. This sets up a point to point connection of your path

Note: Once you initially hit the placemark icon, you will need to drag and drop it to specific location.

6.  Place your mouse cursor over the starting placemark, right mouse click, and click ‘Directions from here’

7.  Place your mouse cursor over the next placemark, right mouse click, and click ‘Directions to here’

8.  Click icon for ‘Copy the current search results to My Places’.  This moves directions and route to ‘My Places’

9.  Repeat steps 6 to 8 until all the routes are created and moved into ‘My Places’ box.

10.  Here is what it would look like after you connect everything up. My routes are in blue, also notice all the connections I made on the left side of the screen

11.  Once you are happy with your newly created route(s), its time to get it ready for your Garmin GPS. Go to “My Places” in Places box/right mouse click/Save place as/<route_name.kmz>

Note: DO NOT use the upper left File/save/Save place as…

12.  Open up your web browser to GPSvisualizer.

13.  Browse for your .kmz file, be sure to set output file to .gpx, and hit the ‘GO’ button. Your form should look like this.

14.  Click on your shiny new .gpx file and save it to your computer

12. Open up GarminMapsource

13. Open the newly created .gpx file from step 14.

14. Connect up your Garmin GPS to your computer

15. Click Transfer/send to device.

 

 

Part 3 will be a guide to using Google and GPS to mark your own property boundary, with excellent correlation!

Categories: gps

Pays to look like a woman when you are a woman

September 10, 2012 36 comments

One of the sports I follow very closely is a sport of MMA (mixed martial art), so when I hear Ken Shamrock in the news I was excited.  There is just two things you need to know about Mr. Shamrock 1) his ring name is “World’s most dangerous man”, well, he used to be.  2) He is a formal heavyweight champion of the UFC and Pancrase.  In other words, you do not want to mug this guy no matter how desperate you are.

So Ken is walking down the street minding his own business when he spots a damsel getting assaulted.  He goes in to break up the fight when he gets jumped from behind by a heavyset man.  The guy that jumped him probably didn’t realize Ken was a professional fighter because Ken basically man-handled him and “incapacitated” the heavyset guy.

It isn’t until one of the spectators yell out, “Ken, you just hit a girl!”  Upon closer look, indeed, he was a she…Ken immediately backed off.  He later apologized and said, “It was an honest mistake”.  I sure hope Ken doesn’t lose his house over this incident 😦

Here is the link to the news article,

http://www.tmz.com/2012/08/23/ken-shamrock-fight-mall-attack-woman-ufc/#ixzz24QXJkZfG

Categories: humor

Strange observation this morning

August 16, 2012 60 comments

courtesy of Bing imagecourtesy of Bing image

I’m getting my donut and coffee this morning at Dunkin Donuts when I notice something you don’t see every day.  A lady in semi clothed swimsuit pulls up in her min-van, greets a guy, and they both get in his Maserati.  Her vehicle was an older beatup looking red Dodge Caravan, probably worth about $4,000.  His car was a newer looking Maserati GranTurismo, probably worth about $150,000.

Now I can be as male chauvinistic as the next guy, but I thought this was quite unjust.  Guys, I know we can be such a selfish cheap bastard sometimes, but you got to take care of your matriarch.  If you can afford to drive a $150,000 sports car, at least get your wife a top-of-the-line Odyssey or Sienna!  Don’t be such a penny-pincher when you can afford not to be!  I know I should not judge people and maybe I should simply assume the Dodge is their beater car while HER Maserati is in a repair shop, but I find that scenario hard to believe.  Other than that, donut and coffee was pretty good 🙂

Categories: auto, humor, wife

Why the heck am I blogging anyway?

August 10, 2012 84 comments

See this little picture here? It’s a figure of my blog traffic for this week.  You would think most bloggers would give me a “gratz” for the one peak you see there.  Unfortunately, that one peak is basically somebody flipping me the bird…lol.  I’ve been sparsely blogging for about 6 months, and I’ve received about 10-12 personal emails that range anything from weird, graphical, odd, beautiful, & inspirational.  BUT….I’ve also received some negative emails, too.  It’s not the occurrence of the negative emails that’s got me thinking, it’s the pattern of the occurrence.

I was at a ball park on the evening when I had a spike in my blog traffic.  I’m standing in line to purchase some beer and pretzels when I notice the spike.  At that moment I’m thinking, “Oh damn, what did I do now…”  And sure enough, about 25minutes later, I get the negative email in my account.  The email was very valid and I could see the point the emailer was making.  But at the same time it was a gross misinterpretation of my comment that caused the misunderstanding.  It’s amazing how differently a short comment can be interpreted if read in a wrong chronological order with a “glass is half empty” attitude.  Anyway, I did reach out with an olive branch and I left it at that.  The stuff I don’t understand is why a traffic spike is always associated with a negative email.  Does this happen to anybody else?

I’ve had 3 spikes like this, and they were all followed by 3 sets of negative emails, it never fails.  So, naturally, this event made me think about what I am doing in the blogging world.  Am I here to make someone’s life little sadder? Am I here to get rich? Am I here because I have nothing better to do with my time? Am I here because I’m an aspiring writer? Answers are no, no, no, and heck no.

I realized the reason why I’m here is to invest my time in people.  You hear the phrase, “there is something to be learned from every individual” It is so true!  It makes me feel like a human again, I want to look forward to what others look forward to, and feel the excitement when a fellow blogger achieves something.  All these feelings are things I would normally never experience, but it’s a human experience that makes me a better more fulfilled person.  I know that last sentence sounds cliché, so let me explain it better with some examples.  Here are my reasons to why I stay involved in this blogging world:

  • There is an individual that is about to lose his/her home, and potentially become homeless.  I want to see this person get back to stability and re-establish his/her life
  • Special someone working hard in the Carolina in which a novice writer, like me, cannot describe in words how awesome she is, but she is such a beautiful person inside and out.  I want to see her land a wonderful life-changing job or maybe marry a self-made millionaire from a guy from Isle of Man.  Why? Because there is no studdlier place than Isle of Man, that is man’s man coming out of that place!
  • Another beautiful person that’s currently living with 20+ roommates and has to get along with every single one of them.  Worst part is, they only have 1 car to share amongst them.  This person is in survival mode right now, and I pray every day this person stays alive.  Wouldn’t it be amazing if this person does survive and ends up saving lives of 1000s others who were also brutally abused and traumatized as a child?
  • That customer no service guy…lol.  This guy is such a f’in ass, but he sure has some funny stuff.  You often hear that your job affects your personality.  Can you really blame him for his personality when you are dealing with customer complaints every day? Lol.  I want to see what happens to him if he lands a different job, a better job.  Can people change their outlook in life with a different career? I want to see it.
  • Couple of young folks that I follow.  They are bright and energetic with bottomless dreams.  I want to see them grow up, get married, and write about their little children.  I want to be the uncle9911 that showers them with toys and candies and go around telling them to pull my finger…lol.   Okay that’s little creepy, but you get the idea.
  • Handful of aspiring writers waiting to release their first publication.  You better believe I’ll be in full support mode once it does get released.
  • Handful of accomplished writers.  I want to eventually read all their books.  How cool is it to read somebody’s book while understanding them at a personal level via personal blog?  And that guy who ran across America.  What did he learn, what did he see, what made him get up every day to do this crazy thing.  I’m hoping to collect these books and maybe score some complementary autograph!
  • All those single people.  They seem to have so much give, just waiting to share them with the right person.  Who isn’t a sucker for a good romantic ending?  I’ll pop a Champaign with every one of you that finds your life mate 🙂

I blog because I want to be in the middle of the action!  Its one thing to be a spectator and simply read blogs, it’s a whole new experience when you are “in the circle” and interacting with all the fellow humans 🙂

I also want to apologize to some of you for my misinterpreted comments…Can I blame it on my inner city public school education for it? It was a really bad education and I was more focused on not getting beat up than studying 😦

Categories: humor

Hide your women and children

August 2, 2012 66 comments

Figure 1 (courtesy of Bing image)

Figure 2 (courtesy of bing image)

I have a fellow bloggers that are in their youthful & prime 40s&50s and it’s always intriguing why they say they want a good man but yet they cannot find one.  I just assumed these ladies have too high of a standard and unreal expectations.  After all, good men are everywhere, aren’t they?  I think I’m a good guy, all my buddies are good guys, all the spouses of my wife’s friends are good guys…what is the problem? They are everywhere.  What’s wrong with these single women who can’t seem to find the right one?

My blog is actually a Part 2 to this person’s blog.  My response was getting too long and I didn’t want to massacre her page any more than what I’ve already done…lol

http://blessedwithastarontheforehead.wordpress.com/2012/07/30/welcome-to-my-e-harmony-profile/

The only possible red flag I see is the line, “… I try to go to Brazil twice a year to see them(family). I hope that my partner will come with me.” because it seems to imply she wants her date to come visit her MOTHER, FATHER, & rest of her family in Brazil.  Some guys flee at the thought of hanging out with the “in-laws”, some may not.  But still, it’s no reason why there is virtually no interest in this genuine and honest profile.

Star is currently among my top 5favorite Brazilians: Anderson Silva, Lyota Machida, Wandeli Silva, Vitor Belfort, & this blogger who claims she does NOT have any birthmark on her forehead.  I read her blog and my automatic reaction was, “oh boy, we got another one here with high standards, it’s not that she doesn’t have suitors, she is probably rejecting every single one of them”…lol.  Is it really possible for a beautiful Brazilian woman to struggle so much to find a good date?  What if she just lowered her standards?

Most people that read my blog are also aware of my friend, Big Ben.  My friends and I want him married ASAP because we want him to hang out with us when we plan big family trips to Sesame place, Crayola Factory, Great wolf lodge, etc.  Ben wants to hang out with us on weekends, we want to hang out with him on weekends, but it can be very awkward with presence of a lone middle aged 6’3” single guy hanging out in these family venues.  He needs to get married ASAP, get some kids of his own, and we can all hang out.  After getting few feedbacks from my fellow bloggers, I am faced with a reality that big Ben might not be “normal”.  The one last saving grace is, normal to what?  I think it should be graded on a curve.

So I went off and did some data collection to answer two questions:

  1.  Do middle aged mature adult slightly-seasoned women have a real challenge when it comes to finding a “good” man?
  2. Is Ben normal?

Following table lists all the data points I collected, with some help from Larry and Moe.  All the sampling data was collected in my work campus.

  1.  Sample1: He is a recent divorcee and a roommate to Ben.  He is an electrical engineer by day and a full time video gamer by night.  He is currently fighting evil in nightmare mode of Diablo3
  2. Sample2: His wife recently left him and she moved back to Texas.  He is the 2nd roommate of Ben and is also an electrical engineer by day and a video gamer by night.  He is also currently battling ghouls & zombies in nightmare mode of Diablo3
  3. Sample3: Big Ben (man that needs no introduction).  Also a gamer playing Diablo3
  4. Sample4: He is a director of one of the engineering branches here.  He wears flip/flops to work, has untrimmed toe nails, and plays video game called Eve online, ALL day and night.
  5. Sample5: looks really normal from top to his shin.  He goes above and beyond logic and practicality.  He is a perfectly healthy, in low 40s, but wears orthopedic shoes (figure1)! He reasons it’s very comfortable and the Velcro make it easy to get in/out of.  He takes it as a complement when somebody says, “Hey, those shoes look RIDICULOUSLY comfortable”
  6. Sample6: Another perfectly normal looking guy, until he becomes Bruce Lee in a team meetings (figure2).  He twirls nunchuks in the back of the room, while we are going over reports and figures…
  7. Sample7: Comes in drunk every Monday morning, has his driver’s license revoked for DWI, & lives with his parents
  8. Sample8: has been eating nothing but peanut butter&jelly sandwich for last 20years at work.  He doesn’t talk much either.
  9. Sample9: He is depressed, has very low self esteem, alcoholic, and grossly overweight.
  10. Sample10: He is very fashionable and wears interesting looking top hat every day.  His perfectly manicured finger nail says it all.
  11. Sample11: sex addict level1: All he talks about is sex, it’s near impossible to have any regular conversation with him.
  12. Sample12: sex addict level2: This person works in the deepest darkest “dungeon” of my building.  He works down there alone and he does his own thing.  On his desk, he has pictures of himself with what seems to be a stripper; his hands are “covering” her mammary glands.  His screensaver has similar theme.
  13. Sample13: sex addict level3: Group of colleagues would be having an interesting conversation, when all of a sudden, a nice looking woman walks by.  He completely shuts off from the conversation; he turns around to check out her behind, he tilts his head to almost horizontal, and drools.  I have personally witnessed the drooling from this man.
  14. Sample14: He works in the manufacturing building.  He is very confident and does excellent job with all our hardware.  He is a stud, athletic, loves sports, drives a Jeep Wrangler, and has no trouble finding dates.  In fact, women are lined up every weekend to go out with this guy!  His only issue is he belongs on a very special peer generated list.  The list is titled, “top 10 most likely people that will go postal”.  It’s meant to be kind of funny but there is definitely some bit of truth to it.  He definitely has some kind of emotional problem and sometimes on the verge of just “exploding”.
  15. Sample15: Another guy that has no problem getting dates.  He has been married at least 3times & has about 7 kids that he knows of, by different women.
  16. Sample16: He has pretty good success of finding dates, but he is piss poor from buying them lavish gifts.  He is another one that lives with his parents.
  17. Sample17: He is located in my building and is his early 40’s.  Smart, good looking, & he just broke off his engagement with his longtime girlfriend, actually his girlfriend broke it off.  He wanted to have an “open” style marriage where you are permitted to cheat, with permission.  His fiancé freaked out and said no-way.  He also has this mentality that if he buys dinner, then the date has to go all the way with him.  Really? This is the current standard?

I was disappointed that I couldn’t find anyone that was worthy to marry my fictitous daughter.  Actually, I take that back, I would consider all the video game guys :), they remind too much of myself…lol

In closing I would like to say the following:

To all you single mature slightly-seasoned adult ladies looking for mature adult men:

Unless you like video gamers, it looks really bad.  I really tried to look for a good prospect to even out the result, but it was just one bad sampling after another.  Probability does not look good and I can see why you are having such a hard time finding a keeper.  Good luck finding the one needle in a haystack, and best of luck avoiding those professional daters.  I can seriously see how adopting a pet and living alone would be MUCH better choice than being with some of the said guys from the table.

To all you married folks who are considering cheating on your current spouse for reason other than abuse:

Idea might be tempting and grass might look so green on the other side.  But that patch of grass might only be a sod, as soon as you lift it up you may not like what you see.  It’s a HUGE gamble and odds are well stacked against you.  Fights over money, kids, nagging, dirty dishes, leaving dirty laundry on the floor, toilet seat lid is nothing compared to what’s out there.  Try to forgive & forget and just try to remember back to why you married him/her in the first place 🙂

To all you lucky husbands out there…lol.  You may want to present the data to you wife and tell her she should be so lucky….lol.  I know I will 🙂  Ummm, actually, you better not, you’ll get your ass beat.

Last but not least, big Ben is looking pretty normal to me 🙂

Categories: family, humor
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