Home > family, wife > I’m a bad man

I’m a bad man

November 30, 2012 Leave a comment Go to comments
lindt chocalate

Lindt chocalate courtesy of Bing images

So I’ve been away from blogging world for almost 3months now.  No need to discuss what I was up to, but this blog needs to happen ASAP, because it’s eating me up.

My wife is a tri athlete and we are both middle aged.  Problem is it takes enormous amount of work to keep the body she has and actually lot more work because she is a middle aged woman.  I try to be as understanding as possible but it is freakin hard when I rarely see her sometimes and I have to take care of the kids and take care of the house, on top of everything else I gotta take care of while she is doing her thing.  On this particular day I was really annoyed because it was months from her first triathlon event and she was training every freakin day!  I was so pissed because I was so f’in tired as hell and first thing she does is leave when I come home.  I don’t see her till the next morning because she practically lives in the gym/pool.

When a man gets tired and upset beyond his max limit, he is destined to do something really dumb.  I mistakenly made series of mistake that caused great remorse…all over one little bad decision I made.  This day started with same ol same ol.  I come home, she says goodbye, I feed the kids, bath them, and I put them down to sleep.  I think this evening was quieter than other evenings and maybe I had little more difficult time at the office than other days.  I didn’t eat dinner so I was hungry, but didn’t have appetite for anything.  As I’m moping around on the couch thinking how shitty my life was, I ended up reaching for the phone.  I called our babysitter to come over ASAP.  I went upstairs to shower groom and put on something nice for the evening.  At this point I was committed to going through with what I planned.

The babysitter arrived at the door, I let her in and I told her that kids are asleep so it shouldn’t be too bad.  I told her I had somewhere to go and that I should be back in about 2hours.  I got in the car and I drove straight to Ruth Chris steakhouse and dined by myself.

I later got home and I really prayed(knelt down), for improvement and wishing my wife wasn’t so into fitness and health.  This was a prayer I would later regret because it was done 3days before the 1st triathlon event of the year.

The very next day was our coed volleyball game.  We ran a routine play where I’m setting from the back row and my wife was switching from middle to outside hitter position.  Nobody can explain what happened during that moment.  My wife just stood in the middle while everybody else was shifting around for the offensive setup.  Nobody touched her but somehow she just spun around and BADLY tore her right ankle.  I knew this was serious because she couldn’t get up and she was in tears.  She went to see the doctor and was devastated to learn that she wouldn’t be able to walk for a very long time; she will miss her 1st triathlon of the year.  The doctor and I also knew she was probably finished for rest of the year.  If you’ve ever had your impossible prayer answered, you know what I was feeling, I was in shock.  I felt so much guilt at this point as you can imagine, I couldn’t believe what just happened.

My wife does not know what I prayed about the night before her accident.  I would see my wife in crutches and ankle support and I just felt terrible.  I thought one way I can mitigate the situation was to make her feel comfortable and happy as possible.  Some of her favorite comfort snacks are Lindt chocolates and potato chips.  I went out and purchased enough chips and Lindt chocolates to last a whole year….so I thought.  My wife was putting away a whole package of Lindt chocolates every other day!  In two months she put on about 15pounds and I can visually see that she has gotten softer and larger.  I then realized if I keep this up my wife may completely give up on fitness.  I was having all sorts of selfish and evil thoughts.  What if she puts on additional 50 pounds and she completely gives up on fitness, wouldn’t my life be sooooo much better?  I loved having my wife home and having a full house.  House looked clean, smelled clean, and it felt like a real family.

To be continued in part 2

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Categories: family, wife
  1. November 30, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    Wow it sounds like your prayer got answered rather quickly!. Just know that if your prayer got answered (obviously from the One Above) His ultimate purpose of doing so is GOOD! So it may look bad now, but good things will come and in the end, this will be the best thing for you and your wife 🙂 stay positive, help her out and PRAY some more 😉

    Great story…

    • November 30, 2012 at 4:08 pm

      I’ve NEVER had a prayer answered in such a direct straightforward way like this. Its almost impossible for me to describe what I was feeling as I wached my wife go down like that. She is a very good volleyball player and you never see bizzare accident like this happen to an experienced seasoned player; there was no contact involved whatsoever, she just spun around and fell by herself.
      This freak accident was the best thing that happened to me, thats for sure. I guess I’m just trying to deal with this self guilt for ruining her dream. She has thousands invested into her triathlon equipment, its that serious for her. I don’t know if I should come clean with her, or just leave it as is. I will stay positive but I don’t think I’ll be praying for any specific request for rest of 2012

  2. November 30, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    Yikes! Feeling sorry for yourself can turn into feeling sorry for what you wished for.Hope your better half gets feeling better soon.Blessings

    • November 30, 2012 at 4:11 pm

      part 2 isn’t any better either 😦
      Thank you for your hopeful words

  3. November 30, 2012 at 7:35 pm

    Haha well, you have a month to think about something you would like to pray for! If you could pray for anything, what/who would it be?!. But If you are contemplating telling her or not, I would say do it! I think it would help her out more emotionally if she knew that you really wanted her to slow down, take a break and spend some time at home for a while.
    I am causiously looking forward to hearing your part 2…

    • December 2, 2012 at 12:01 am

      I’ve gone back to my default generic prayer and decided to let this one just take its course. I haven’t told her anything because there is a side of me that wants my wife to put on about 50lb or so… I just don’t think its normal for a wife-mom to be working out at that intense level. I’ll definitely take a break and take some time to think this through.

  4. November 30, 2012 at 11:29 pm

    Wow! Create a family environment that allows for some physical exercise but also is nurturing to other aspects of yourselves. Focus on the positive in every moment… it will be ok.

    • December 1, 2012 at 11:56 pm

      Well, we do have a pretty nice gym in the basement that gets used on regular basis. Only problem is, my wife is on another level and goes way beyond regular fitness. I do like you advice of focusing on the positive, thanks!

  5. December 3, 2012 at 10:23 pm

    Chris have you talked to her about how you feel. Marriage is a working together partnership. There are two of you. You are a couple She has her dreams that you support. Wonderful that’s a great thing, but it sounds like at some point the two of you maybe weren’t being very communicative with one another with reference to your own personal needs & feelings.
    Things happen in life Chris.

    Ultimately the relationship between two people depends entirely on their ability to express their feelings about any circumstances and situation openly and completely. Talk to her, be honest, be sincere. It’s an imperfect world. We’re imperfect people. We all have dreams and desires and goals, but a couple is made up of two people Chris. Don’t live with a sense of guilt. It achieves nothing but makes you feel bad. And yes focus on the positive, but be open with her about your own feelings, concerns, needs and desires, please! With much affection and understanding that this isn’t an easy time with no easy answers, Penny

    • December 4, 2012 at 9:33 am

      hey penny, thanks for stopping by like this with your insightful comment 🙂
      She is aware of how I felt when she was training like a mad woman. I also made a comment about how happy kids and I feel to have mommy home all the time, with platter full of chips, chocalates, & wine. You are probably right, something wasn’t communicated along the way and maybe we shoulda had a serious conversation about the exercise regiment, but it is SOOO hard to squash her dream in life 😦 I just can’t look her in the eys and tell her I’m miserable because of her dream 😦 Its one thing if it wasn’t so important to her, but its completely different when she is pouring her heart and soul into it.
      You are absolutely correct, we shouldn’t live with sense of guilt. But how do you tell a loved one that I’m wishing she gains 50lbs and the terrible accident was the best thing happened to her dream..yikes. I sound like a horrible guy.

      • December 4, 2012 at 1:37 pm

        No you sound like an unhappy one. I don’t see where a person’s dream needs to be squashed just moderated (by her) so that the family she is a part of figures into the whole scheme of things. Marriage and raising a family is a cooperative thing, dreams are excellent but so are the responsibilities that go with the other two items.
        Goals are also a great thing, but if someone’s goal diminishes the value and worth of those they care about is it really a price she wants to pay that she later may regret. Look at it from that point of view! Also we all go to less than noble thoughts about those we care for when we feel frustrated and unhappy, again a part of our human nature, Chris. Not a bad thing, a human thing my friend!

        • December 4, 2012 at 2:08 pm

          I was definitely unhappy, and stressed out. I think for the longest time she probably didn’t realize what she was doing was extreme. I agree we, as parents, can’t forget we are trying to raise a family. You said, “but if someone’s goal diminishes the value and worth of those they care about is it really a price she wants to pay that she later may regret”. You are right, something has to give because you only have 24hour day cycle and you can’t do it all, something will suffer.
          I can’t even begin to tell you how much better my family life is, since her injury. But the story doesn’t just end there because she just found out, just few days ago, she has some kind of arthritis in her hip joints. She was very sad over the situation and I’m just there nodding my head and trying to be a good listener. The “devil” side of me is smiling, but the “angel” side of me is feeling really sad for her. I’m just really surprised by how this problem ended in one sided result. If there is a way where I can change the result to be little more fair for her, I would do it. This latest bad news pretty much sealed the deal probably ended her career in competitive sports and excessive workouts. Lets hope this is it and no more bad news for her. Would you say the devil side of a person is also a human quality?

          • December 4, 2012 at 2:58 pm

            Completely, and I’ll share something else with you that I know to be a truth. Sometimes (I’m referring to her now) The inside of a person (who they are, where their thoughts travel too, how they internalize everything going on at a subconscious level – that interior part of a person is keeping track with reality and can come to an arbitrary decision to intrude in events by doing something physical that literally sets the person up to fail.

            It’s as if at some level there is an awareness that all isn’t as it should be. I’ve seen this happen again and again with a variety of people. Like the subconscious isn’t really happy with conscious decisions and so makes the body (for real) sick, hurt, unwell in an interesting variety of ways. Also something for you both to think on. (And arthritis is controllable and reversible – I’ve also seen this.)

            Finally ~ yes Chris the devil inside of you is a human quality, just like the love inside of you (therefore the guilt) is also. There is a God inside of you also you know! Each religion does reference this (using different terminology – including Christianity btw). Heavy stuff. Bottom line, share your love fully with your partner be more open and honest in your conversations and encourage her to do the same with you, I think you’ll be surprised at the outcome!

            • December 5, 2012 at 11:06 am

              You know I needed some time to digest this epic comment. The subconscious and the conscious need to be at peace with each other; makes a lot of sense. From that I can probably backtrack and figure out what needs to be done to make that happen
              I don’t know if I’m mentally ready to accept the fact this ‘miracle’ can be reversed 😦 I’m just going to focus on making her feel better and going to see what happens in the spring. I’ll have a serious conversation with her depending on what she wants to do.
              I guess knowing her injury and arthritis can be controlled and possibly reversed, I feel like I can indulge in her temporary setback 🙂 oh my goodness, I’m so bad, but let’s hope all this is just temporary so I don’t have to create another blog called ‘I’m a REALLY bad man’

              • December 5, 2012 at 12:27 pm

                I wish you well Chris, and your wife and family also in all that you do. 🙂

                • December 5, 2012 at 1:26 pm

                  thanks a bunch, Penny!

                  • December 5, 2012 at 4:38 pm

                    you’re sincerely welcome Chis!

  6. December 3, 2012 at 11:23 pm

    http://thethoughtpalette.co.uk/our-awards/blog-of-the-year-2012-award/

    Blog of The Year 2012 Award is waiting over at Living and Lovin when you have a moment

    Eunice

    • December 4, 2012 at 2:27 pm

      Sweet, thanks for the recognition! I’ll come over as soon as I have my soapbox speech ready.lol

  7. December 4, 2012 at 9:07 pm

    Omg….left us hanging!! My advice is she will be more mad about the weight gain comment then the prayer!! You better run… Fast!

    • December 5, 2012 at 11:10 am

      mad about the weight gain? you kidding me, she was PISSED! she kicked me so hard my hip joint nearly got dislocated, and nearly ended MY cycling ‘career’. There is nowhere to run when momma is upset 😦
      Sorry for leaving you hanging, I’ll be posting part2 sometime next week 🙂 Thanks a bunch for checking in for the first time, I really appreciate my first time customers 🙂

      • December 5, 2012 at 12:11 pm

        good for her….btw! sorry we gotta stick together!

        • December 5, 2012 at 1:24 pm

          ah yeah, I know what you mean, kinda like same logic why you guys go to public bathroom as a group.lol. I think I totally understand 🙂

          • December 5, 2012 at 2:41 pm

            well…yeah….where else are we gonna talk about ya’ll!! lol

            • December 5, 2012 at 2:48 pm

              you know, that herding phenomenon is something thats always in back of my head, but never confronted any woman about it. What goes on in there? is there some kind of organization going on? strategy? sharing recipes? it looks so shady and innocent at the same time…lol

              • December 5, 2012 at 2:55 pm

                …only shady in the fact that we all have a need to check and compare ourselves with each other..example..”I feel so fat in this outfit!’..friend replies..”oh no it looks great and just the right color for your new cute haircut and color!” then in reply…”I love your cut, do you still go to the same place?”…then…”yep I love it there!”..then on and on with a few other reassuring comments so we can self deprecate and seem secure all at the same time then also if the husbands/date has made us aggravated we can jaw about that one too, get our sides up and confirm we are for sure the smarter sex….and then sometimes we all just know that we will have to pee eventually so we might as well go together….most of us are sociable people, confident in our group defense….except my sister who likes to stand alone. Some women are confident no matter what….they gripe me!

                • December 5, 2012 at 3:01 pm

                  lol + omg! you need to copy and paste your last comment and put it out as a blog. That was just too funny.
                  You realize that has got to be the single biggest reason why women’s bathroom line is disproportionately longer than men’s line.lol.

                  • December 5, 2012 at 3:03 pm

                    …haha for real??? um maybe, I will see….

                    • December 5, 2012 at 3:06 pm

                      you kidding me? its a riot! and its in back of every man’s mind.lol

                    • December 5, 2012 at 3:11 pm

                      well then, maybe I will and thanks…feel a little out here with all this jabber in my head thinking…really does not anyone else think this is funny? I have a very low self esteem issue in writing…I think I can be ok but I pay little attention to grammar because…well, dont really give a care…real artists cant be bothered with the mess, i say! so when someone actually comments I am like a drowning man clinging to a hunk of driftwood. sad little voice yelping…oh me. See now I have parlayed this all about me…see how easy it happens…
                      sorry

                    • December 5, 2012 at 3:34 pm

                      on your ‘does anyone else think this is funny’. Well, if quantity isn’t important to you, you know there is at least 1guy that thinks its REALLY funny.
                      Low self esteem in writing? you just need to venture out more and see all the bad blogs out there, and realize yours insn’t the worst and it probably not the best either 🙂 There is comfort in knowing you are not the worst one out there.lol
                      grammer? lol. You can borrw my line and blame it on our failed inner city public school system 🙂
                      Funny I know more about you with this conversation than your about page.lol

                    • December 5, 2012 at 4:12 pm

                      ha as long as I am in the middle of the pack! and the about page is where we wax poetic about ourselves…blah blah blah…I hate that stuff…and being a goofball stuck in a preacherswife world I tend to not totally let loose…a lot of writing between the lines ya know….but i have fun so that is the real story…and as u can tell i like to talk to new folks…sorry

                    • December 5, 2012 at 4:26 pm

                      middle of the pack and flying under the radar, thats how I like to roll.lol
                      You might want to consider adding a link to this page in your about page.lol.
                      Goofball stuck in precherswife world..lol, oh dear. How did you get so lucky? But I suppose you need a place where you can talk somewhat freely without being under any church scrutiny. Writing between the lines is fun, because it means I can interpret it anyway I want to.lol. I’m a big fan of cautious fun people 🙂

                    • December 5, 2012 at 4:32 pm

                      just good clean livin’ i suppose!! ugh! I guess i figure people read past the About page….dumb me! I will attempt to jazz it up a bit!! and after 25 years of it all,, i have nearly let my gaurd down…no names to protect the guilty but ya know, still the JOB! gotta be good

                    • December 5, 2012 at 4:45 pm

                      I actually think you have a beautiful about me page, its really well thought out and I can see you spent lot of time into every word in it. Your wedding pictures of your family and your #1 man is really well done, too. I’m just doing little bit of scouting of your blog site, you know, preparing for a full raid of it 🙂

                    • December 5, 2012 at 4:36 pm

                      btw…i wrote a not so great post about our conversation and linked your blog….you have a zillion followers so you do not need me but I wanna give you a shout out….good to talk…thanks I needed the chat!

                    • December 5, 2012 at 4:50 pm

                      wow, looks like I’m dealing with a professional multi-tasker. You wrote a blog while conversing here, cleaning, and doing all the preacher’s wife duties? I’m very impressed.
                      LOL at my zillion followers, becasue thats even funnier than the bathroom conversation. psst, I’ll share a little secret with you, I have just little over 5+ followers. I can’t wait to come and check out what you wrote 🙂

  8. December 4, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    Chris…I know it’s probably been said…but I honestly don’t feel you should have guilt. You didn’t cause it and if prayers for someone to get hurt actually happened then I know two people who would be very very hurt right now (in my life). 😦 I believe that God does allow things in our lives to show us that we need to change direction in our lives…for example your wife spending more time with her family. Maybe this will be an opportunity for her to see that and the other health issue helping to make sure she doesn’t over do…she can still pursue things important to her…but not at the detriment of her family. I think we all can get so focused on something that we unintentionally don’t realize the ramifications of our actions until it’s too late. Maybe this is one of those things…

    Just do me a favor okay? Try to not feel guilty….talk to her…listen to her…love her….and you guys will be fine. No need for guilt…it’s in the past now….work with her to make a better today and tomorrow and all the tomorrows to come. Life is short Chris….for all of us. Just don’t let this eat you up and ruin the blessings you have been given. This may very well just be a blessing in disguise. Hugs sweet friend ~

    • December 5, 2012 at 4:17 pm

      ahhh, its 4:10pm, things are quiet, and its time to focus on this comment! I think part of the guilt is, I was asking for a small ice cream cone but what I got was a fully stocked ice cream truck instead, all for my self and non for the Mrs 😦
      After reading your comment, I’m wondering if she made the same observation you just made. It sure looks pretty clear to me, but I just haven’t had the nerves to bring up God, intent, and injuries all in the same line. I’m not exactly good with words and it could end up coming out REALLY bad from my mouth. I truly do believe its some sort of a sign that she probably should slow it down, especially with her recent diagnosis of arthritis.
      I do feel lot better in regards to guilt but thats because she seems very happy these days. Only guilt that remains is, do I disclose why I’m so happy with the way she is putting away those lindt chocalates so quickly? Should I just let it be?
      Thanks for breaking it all down for me like this, and I really apprecaite your care and concern 🙂 oh and thanks for the hugs too 🙂

      • December 7, 2012 at 12:43 am

        I understand not only is each individual on the Earth different, so is each relationship. Duane and I had our problems….but one thing we were blessed to figure out early on was ‘how’ to communicate with each other. The only reason I preface what I’m about to say with that is this….you can say all you need to say to her without giving all the facts. You can say maybe this is a wake up call…and all the other things you want to say. You don’t have to share the other part. Speaking as a woman…I wouldn’t want to hear that. What I would want to hear is that my husband loved me, missed me and that I was so busy pursuing my goals that I wasn’t there for my kids and him…that there could be a way to have both(that he would be willing to work out a solution for both). Maybe she is happier now because she is relieved. Relieved that she doesn’t have to choose between her goals and her family. Just a guess. Honestly, where there is love for each other (which you both seem to have) then the rest is workable…just takes time and communication. I think circumstances are all adding up to give what you both want and need. Does that make sense? Been a long day…just really wanted to share one thing I do know a LOT about…communication re: marriage.

        And if I’m rambling and sticking my nose in where it doesn’t belong just tell me :p

        • December 7, 2012 at 10:03 am

          mmmm, maybe I’ll tell her bits and pieces at a time without telling her everything, until I feel she is satisfied with the situation. Thanks for sharing the honesty and your very private memories…I will focus on the big picture and make sure she understands all those feelings that you mentioned.
          rambling and sticking your nose in where it doesn’t belong? lol, Hey, don’t be putting down an amazing thoughtful comment that was put together on somebody’s last little bit of energy, especially on my home turf 🙂 I freak’in love this comment, regardless of what any Christina thinks :).
          Is everything cool on your side of town? why such a long day? hopefully its just temporary 🙂

          • December 7, 2012 at 11:51 pm

            lol you crack me up!! Okay – okay okay okay…no more putting down on the comments on your turf :p Sounds like you have things well in hand! Long days…just have some stuff I need to tend to (on top of normal daily stuff). We are all well though…and yes, thank you, I do believe it will be temporary 🙂 I hope the holiday season is beginning to be a merry one for you and your family!! 🙂

            • December 11, 2012 at 10:54 am

              if you are laughing and cracking up, I guess we are back to being normal again? lol. You better believe I love and care for all my awesome commenters 🙂
              what are you talking about you “believe” its will be temporary…I need percentage and probability of its chance being temporary vs permanent.
              This holiday year has been turning out really good for me. My wife is home and is a lot softer, kids haven’t really destoryed anything of signifcant value, no notice from the IRS…yeah, its gonna be alright 🙂

              • December 12, 2012 at 12:31 am

                Normal is just a setting on the dryer LOL :p But yes, I believe we are back to our quirky-wonky-funny-lol-normal! 🙂 Hmmm….never was good at math….percentages might be difficult at this moment…kind of like being a meterologist right about now….just guessing haha…I’m thinking the probability of things looking up to be at about 75% chance of sunshine with some thunderstorms and wind gusts to be expected. :p

                I am most happy to hear that all is well on the homefront and that you haven’t lost anything of value or have big brother knocking on your door!! 🙂

                • December 13, 2012 at 10:12 pm

                  man oh man, my comment function in wordpress has been hit or miss lately. I replied to this but its not showing anything. Anyway here is the official reply 🙂
                  I didn’t know normal was a setting on a dryer. I went to the laundry room, and sure enough, it really is a setting on the dryer. Guess I learned something new today.lol. thanks. I’m glad you are back to your usual funky funny normal self, but don’t convince me to buy another lab grade instrument I don’t need.lol.
                  Thanks for the 75% update, but I was actually hoping for 95% chance of sunshine? perhaps a recount to make sure the numbers are right? 🙂
                  Yep, homefront is pretty stable, and definitely gotta keep the big bro out. Incase I don’t hear anything from you for rest of the year, have a wonderful-100% sunshine-just safe amount of snow on the ground for traveling-Christmas 🙂

                  • December 15, 2012 at 8:21 pm

                    I can’t believe you didn’t believe me and had to go check your dryer! :p I would never convince you to buy something you don’t need….unless it’s on sale haha 😉 I like that funky funny normal self….I may do a recount on the probability of sunshine…just not yet as the numbers haven’t changed but the forcast does show promise! I do hope you and your family have a very very Merry Christmas!! Thank you for the wishes…I think this year we will knowing there will be no unexpected visits from the “unwanteds”this year!! That in and of itself is a Christmas gift to be cherished! 🙂

                    • December 17, 2012 at 3:47 pm

                      lol, it wasn’t a question of trusting you, I was curious for myself since I’ve never really looked at a dryer control knob, ever. I sure hope there is nothing but sunshine leading into Christmas. I don’t think I can live through another tragic story so close to the most festive time of the year 😦
                      I’m happy to hear your 2012 Christmas will be an improvement from the previous year.lol Its going to be nothing but joy and happiness 🙂 Doesn’t it make you all giddy just thinking about it? lol

                    • December 18, 2012 at 12:06 am

                      Oh yes…..giddy is a most apropros word for how I feel that they aren’t a part of this years festivities!!! While not 100% sunshine…honestly, I have a lot to be thankful, grateful for…and by focusing on that I assure you…I will be smiling and enjoying the season!!! So smile sweet friend….it’s almost Christmas!! 😀

                    • December 18, 2012 at 10:36 pm

                      Yay! You sure know how to brighten up the mood around here!You must be a mother, or something 🙂

                    • December 20, 2012 at 12:35 am

                      LOL It’s a blessing and a curse :p

                    • December 20, 2012 at 10:44 am

                      a curse??!! LOL. Its nothing but a blessing from my point of view.

  9. December 6, 2012 at 8:09 am

    I think I am now your super fan. This is a great post. Leave the blog up on your computer. She’ll stop eating those chocolates.

    • December 6, 2012 at 11:48 am

      tell you what, I was happy just to have you following my blog. but than you tripple that up with a like hit and a pretty darn cool comment like this? that’s a full service customer right there! 🙂 Thanks for your support and I will definitely step in and end the chocalate frenzy once the 50lb milestone is reached 🙂

      • December 6, 2012 at 4:39 pm

        I’m here for you, Chris9911. Hang in there & please keep the posts coming.

        • December 6, 2012 at 4:45 pm

          I’ll drink to that 🙂

  10. December 7, 2012 at 9:10 am

    Where is part II? Haha.

    Is she always this much into fitness? Or is just for a short period each year? Because a constant strain on her body could actually be very harmful to her health. Small amounts of exercise each day is good for most people, but if she’s working out so much that you never see her, I think she really needs to tone it down a bit. So even though this injury seems bad on the surface, it might be a good thing because it could help her relax a little.

    • December 7, 2012 at 10:15 am

      HEY! there she is. First blog friends gotta stick together, you know 🙂 You wanna know where part 2 is? oh the part where I get kicked so hard that it feels like a mule kicked me? lol. With my laziness in blogging, it might take me couple of months.
      My wife is an animal when it comes to health and fitness. I think part of the blame should go to all these luxurious 24hour gyms; damn home wreckers! You know these newer gyms are now designed to feel like a vacation resort. What terrible ill minded designer came up with that terrible concept, damn architechs and designers…ooops, did I just say something I shouldn’t have? lol. Speaking of which, I would love hear about your new job. You get the first promotion yet? climbing the corporate ladder? And I hope you dropped all the “dead weights” around you that was holding you back 🙂
      I don’t even bring up triathlon and working out anymore. She seems really distracted with all the comfort surrounding her 🙂 I’m treating her like Cleopatra these days. Apparently thats what it takes to compete against a modern gym 😦

      • December 19, 2012 at 1:10 am

        Yeah I’ve gotten quite busy at my job, which is why I’ve been quite lazy with blogging as well. But I got plenty of stuff that I want to write about. I’m on vacation now so perhaps I will actually get around to writing them haha.

        And uh those luxurious gyms, so not my thing. I’m more of a eating junk food in front of the tv person (guess that’s not so healthy either haha). Lol, but of course, designing those facilities that trick people into spending thousands of dollars is how I survive.

        • December 19, 2012 at 3:55 pm

          I’m sure that complex brain of yours is yearning to blow out any day now.lol Not into those luxury resort gyms? Good for you, I think your future husband, if you choose to go down that route, will love you for it.lol
          Shame on you for all your trickery!! How can you sleep at night knowing there are spouses suffering in the cold bed, all alone, losing out to all these super luxury gyms. lol

  11. December 10, 2012 at 10:24 pm

    I have learned to be VERY careful about what I pray for, not only because God sometimes grants our wishes in unexpected ways, but also because I don’t want the guilt trip of praying for something I’ll regret later.

    • December 10, 2012 at 10:35 pm

      you better believe I learned that lesson from this experience, really quickly. I don’t suppose God appreciates you praying for one thing, he grants it, and then you are begging to somewhat reverse it.
      Now I’m curious to hear how you learned to be careful in what you pray for?

  12. December 12, 2012 at 10:55 pm

    That’s unfortunate! But, as someone with knee problems, surely there are ways she can keep fit. Aside from the visual aspects, there’s her health, and emotionally I’m sure she wants to stay active because it makes her feel good! There have to be ways…

    As for the prayers, I can’t believe that was G-D at work. How would that be ok? You want something, and maybe it’s a little selfish (or maybe not!), so G-D puts her in crutches and months of pain? There’s “working in mysterious ways,” and then there’s “Wow. Dick move.” This just seems like she was over training, not resting enough, and not respecting the fact that our bodies change at every stage.

    Still… you can always send ME the chocolates! 🙂

    • December 13, 2012 at 10:30 am

      Yeah, I’m sure she’ll find a way to stay fit if she chooses. Her agony is over the fact that she may no longer be able to participate at a competitive level ever again. I’m certainly not going to complain about that. I can deal with being fit, I don’t think I can deal with a mid-aged competitive athlete, just my honest truth.
      I appreciate your logical explanation on the bizarre event, its makes a lot of sense. I’m usually the logical one of the family and I guess I was really emotional because the event followed so closely after my prayer.
      I’ll send you the remainder stockpile of those chocalates once she puts on 50lbs. I think thats probably a good number for her to remain at, because it will be easier to maintain the average weight than fighting your body to remain so slim.

      • December 13, 2012 at 8:04 pm

        Don’t tease me with the promise of chocolates! That’s worse karma than actually praying FOR an injury. At least in my book!! 😉

        • December 13, 2012 at 9:09 pm

          lol. those candies are pretty good, but I don’t know how anybody can eat more than 2 of those at a time. wow, am I being graced by an author? I am always honored and thrilled to interact with authors and real writers 🙂 What is your book about?

          • January 9, 2013 at 9:11 pm

            LOL! It’s about another WordPress writer to who teases people with chocolate, and then pulls away at the last minute. But no, I’m not a writer. Not yet anyway. Maybe someday. Le sigh…

            • January 11, 2013 at 7:50 pm

              naaa, forget that, you are too busy saving the world from annihilation.lol

  13. December 17, 2012 at 12:27 pm

    So everyone has already said it…or do I need to say more?!

    Ah Chris, oh chris. One thing I’d say, more like repeating what everyone else stated : be honest, & talk it out with her. Really. & feel free to send those chocolates over! ;D I’m sure, she doesn’t want what you want for her, 50lbs!! :O tsk tsk :p Other than that, update us soon!!

    • December 17, 2012 at 4:11 pm

      I decided to tell her everything in a slow gradual little pieces, but there is no way Im telling her about the 50lb plan, that would be committing a marriage suicide.lol. I think she will look more natural and awesome at +50lb, its my real honest opinion 🙂
      The reason why she has to workout so hard is becasue she is forcing her body to do unnatural thing, like high level triathlon. +50lb with nice steady diet and exercise would be perfect and relaxing for everybody 🙂

      • December 23, 2012 at 4:36 pm

        Oh, that is awesome then! Really, I think I’d have to agree with you here… (Y)

        • December 24, 2012 at 11:44 am

          If I disclose everything at once, it will be information overload.

  14. December 26, 2012 at 11:36 am

    Wow, this post was quite intense and interesting. I do not know what I would even do in this situation … I don’t think that you should feel sorry for wanting your wife to slow down on her training, however, I do think you should feel bad that she was injured. Everything happens for a reason even though the answer to her may not be cleary stated to her as of yet, but, maybe this will give her a chance to see all that you do for her and the family. Everything that you take care of. She may come to realize all that she missed out on – dinner, bed time stories, tucking the kids in, etc.

    From what I have learned through following your blog is that you are a wonderful hisband, a great father, an all around encompassing man. In no way shape or form do I think that your a “bad man.” You are a man who is longing to have his wife back so to speak and his family life re-kindled, I do agree though that when a man is fed up he will do stupid things or act out of character.

    I think you should just let her know how you really feel. She may be too self-involved to even realize how her absence is really affecting yourself and the kids. She may not even know how deeply rooted your sentiments are regarding this issue.

    Best of luck with this!

    • December 28, 2012 at 9:56 pm

      I’m definitely doing my best to make her happy so that she’ll forget about her workout life 🙂
      I haven’t discussed this topic for some time now. New Year’s day is around the corner and I am planning on having a real serious conversation about this.
      Marriage is tricky and interesting. No matter how hard you think you are working for the family, its sometimes not viewed as enough.
      Thanks for stopping by and I’m glad you are back.

  15. December 27, 2012 at 9:28 pm

    hey there
    nice photo 🙂
    im from indonesia and i like ur blog and i wish u would follow me back 🙂

  16. December 28, 2012 at 9:21 am

    Very funny! I remember years ago when I put on 15 lbs during a two “week” vacation. Seriously could not fit in most of my work suits, but took it off again so have hope. My family gains very easily, so I do sometimes yo-yo. Lindts have way too much fat content. Switch to Hersheys dark, less fat, still good.

    • December 28, 2012 at 10:09 pm

      Thanks for the tip on Hersheys dark, my wife loves that too.lol. It is amazing how slim and fit she is considering how much she loves chocalates. +50lb and I’ll be very very happy.

  17. December 29, 2012 at 1:26 am

    Hi Chris, finally got some time to read your blogs which I have missed! What happened here seems like “magical thinking.” We think we have the magical ability to cause things to happen in other people’s lives. If a prayer was answered it was for things to change for the better and usually that happens for the greater good, I find. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise that she was hurt as she found out about the arthritis and maybe avoided a much worse injury down the line, especially the way she trains. Maybe she learned that she’s pushing it too hard and will need to change things? You can’t be to blame for wanting your wife around which is really all that happened. Hope you won’t be so hard on yourself in future. You’re a good guy…know this! 🙂 Hope you had a great Christmas!

    • December 29, 2012 at 1:22 pm

      YOU would have gotten a hate mail from me if you didn’t stop by and give out your Christmas greeting.lol. Did you win the family contest with your limerick? The one person that wasn’t impressed with it CRACKED ME UP.lol. I think you know what I’m talking about 🙂
      You are very philosophical with your view in life, I love it. I didn’t even make the connection about her early detection of arthritis to her v-bal injury.
      I can only stay a good guy for so long.lol. I am convinced any good guy can turn for the worst if situation gets bad enough.
      Christmas break is going great and there is a fitness center thats missing a wife right now. Thats makes me feel good.lol

  18. December 29, 2012 at 9:33 pm

    Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings, Chris. And thanks for sharing from your <3.
    God does work in mysterious ways…now if He just didn't allow chocolate, I wouldn't be putting on the pounds either!

    Keep writing…. and here's to quick healing,
    ~Gracie

    • December 30, 2012 at 10:25 pm

      Good rambling is as good as any good writing! God does work in mysterious ways, and he really shocked me this time. Hey, stop worrying about putting the weight on. If anybody complains, tell him its either pounds or endless time at the gym.

  19. January 2, 2013 at 3:07 pm

    That article was very good. Not many people would say that they wish their spouse would gain 50 pounds and stay home. I can see how you feel, having to take second place to training for that tri-athalon. It’s almost as if training was her husband and you were just “there”. Thank you for your transparency. Hoping that your wife gets better soon and that she will see that she has been missing out on “growing” with her family. Peace and blessings.

    • January 2, 2013 at 10:48 pm

      Yep, you definitely nailed, I did feel like I was competing with a stinkin’ gym! As ridculous as that sounds, it is pretty much right on. Everything is fantastic right now and I’m just hoping nothing will change, now that its perfect.
      Thank you for your visit 🙂

  20. January 6, 2013 at 10:33 am

    Oh Chris, so much angst and life’s too short. Forget the sweets. It’s at odds with wife’s compulsive need to compete. She’s overdoing it. You can be fit and still have a good marriage and home life. Fit-aholic does not make a good wife and mom. She may look great but at what price. Keep calm and move on, you two. The boys need smooth sailing.

    • January 6, 2013 at 3:28 pm

      Her new season is right around the corner and there will be a showdown. I never intervene with any of her hobby decisions, but I think I must intervene on this one. I feel sorry for all the spouses of serious athletes 😦 I am also noticing this as a trend. So many of her friends also spend quite a lot of time at the gym. I suppose its not “cool” to be just a mom anymore 😦
      These several months has been amazing, though. Dishes are piled up to the ceiling and she is doing lots of baking and cooking, house smells sweet, and I can see the difference with the kids. I’m going to make a bold statement here. I say, “Injured mommies make the best mommies” lol Thanks for your wonderful feedback, Charmaine 🙂 I hope you got all your tech glitches taken care of.

  21. Distance Landaverde
    January 10, 2013 at 1:29 pm

    Wow. I love that you blogged about this it’s real and very touching. I hope you and your wife the best. There is sooo much “junk” out there as far as the different media we subjugate ourselves to that lack the humanity we need to keep our own lives in perspective. Thank you for sharing your experience.
    Distance

    • January 11, 2013 at 7:52 pm

      Thanks for stopping by and thank you for the best wishes 🙂 She is doing pretty well, actually she started hitting the gym again…ugggg.

  22. January 21, 2013 at 4:54 pm

    I know it doesn’t make sense right now, but believe me, EVERYTHING that happens to you, happens to you for your HIGHEST Good. Even when you can’t see it!
    Do stop feeding your wife chocolates please! 🙂

    • January 22, 2013 at 4:09 pm

      awe, thank you for your warm comment. But I am not stopping until 50lb bogie is met 🙂

  23. January 22, 2013 at 7:37 pm

    LOL

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