Home > family, humor > Hide your women and children

Hide your women and children

Figure 1 (courtesy of Bing image)

Figure 2 (courtesy of bing image)

I have a fellow bloggers that are in their youthful & prime 40s&50s and it’s always intriguing why they say they want a good man but yet they cannot find one.  I just assumed these ladies have too high of a standard and unreal expectations.  After all, good men are everywhere, aren’t they?  I think I’m a good guy, all my buddies are good guys, all the spouses of my wife’s friends are good guys…what is the problem? They are everywhere.  What’s wrong with these single women who can’t seem to find the right one?

My blog is actually a Part 2 to this person’s blog.  My response was getting too long and I didn’t want to massacre her page any more than what I’ve already done…lol


The only possible red flag I see is the line, “… I try to go to Brazil twice a year to see them(family). I hope that my partner will come with me.” because it seems to imply she wants her date to come visit her MOTHER, FATHER, & rest of her family in Brazil.  Some guys flee at the thought of hanging out with the “in-laws”, some may not.  But still, it’s no reason why there is virtually no interest in this genuine and honest profile.

Star is currently among my top 5favorite Brazilians: Anderson Silva, Lyota Machida, Wandeli Silva, Vitor Belfort, & this blogger who claims she does NOT have any birthmark on her forehead.  I read her blog and my automatic reaction was, “oh boy, we got another one here with high standards, it’s not that she doesn’t have suitors, she is probably rejecting every single one of them”…lol.  Is it really possible for a beautiful Brazilian woman to struggle so much to find a good date?  What if she just lowered her standards?

Most people that read my blog are also aware of my friend, Big Ben.  My friends and I want him married ASAP because we want him to hang out with us when we plan big family trips to Sesame place, Crayola Factory, Great wolf lodge, etc.  Ben wants to hang out with us on weekends, we want to hang out with him on weekends, but it can be very awkward with presence of a lone middle aged 6’3” single guy hanging out in these family venues.  He needs to get married ASAP, get some kids of his own, and we can all hang out.  After getting few feedbacks from my fellow bloggers, I am faced with a reality that big Ben might not be “normal”.  The one last saving grace is, normal to what?  I think it should be graded on a curve.

So I went off and did some data collection to answer two questions:

  1.  Do middle aged mature adult slightly-seasoned women have a real challenge when it comes to finding a “good” man?
  2. Is Ben normal?

Following table lists all the data points I collected, with some help from Larry and Moe.  All the sampling data was collected in my work campus.

  1.  Sample1: He is a recent divorcee and a roommate to Ben.  He is an electrical engineer by day and a full time video gamer by night.  He is currently fighting evil in nightmare mode of Diablo3
  2. Sample2: His wife recently left him and she moved back to Texas.  He is the 2nd roommate of Ben and is also an electrical engineer by day and a video gamer by night.  He is also currently battling ghouls & zombies in nightmare mode of Diablo3
  3. Sample3: Big Ben (man that needs no introduction).  Also a gamer playing Diablo3
  4. Sample4: He is a director of one of the engineering branches here.  He wears flip/flops to work, has untrimmed toe nails, and plays video game called Eve online, ALL day and night.
  5. Sample5: looks really normal from top to his shin.  He goes above and beyond logic and practicality.  He is a perfectly healthy, in low 40s, but wears orthopedic shoes (figure1)! He reasons it’s very comfortable and the Velcro make it easy to get in/out of.  He takes it as a complement when somebody says, “Hey, those shoes look RIDICULOUSLY comfortable”
  6. Sample6: Another perfectly normal looking guy, until he becomes Bruce Lee in a team meetings (figure2).  He twirls nunchuks in the back of the room, while we are going over reports and figures…
  7. Sample7: Comes in drunk every Monday morning, has his driver’s license revoked for DWI, & lives with his parents
  8. Sample8: has been eating nothing but peanut butter&jelly sandwich for last 20years at work.  He doesn’t talk much either.
  9. Sample9: He is depressed, has very low self esteem, alcoholic, and grossly overweight.
  10. Sample10: He is very fashionable and wears interesting looking top hat every day.  His perfectly manicured finger nail says it all.
  11. Sample11: sex addict level1: All he talks about is sex, it’s near impossible to have any regular conversation with him.
  12. Sample12: sex addict level2: This person works in the deepest darkest “dungeon” of my building.  He works down there alone and he does his own thing.  On his desk, he has pictures of himself with what seems to be a stripper; his hands are “covering” her mammary glands.  His screensaver has similar theme.
  13. Sample13: sex addict level3: Group of colleagues would be having an interesting conversation, when all of a sudden, a nice looking woman walks by.  He completely shuts off from the conversation; he turns around to check out her behind, he tilts his head to almost horizontal, and drools.  I have personally witnessed the drooling from this man.
  14. Sample14: He works in the manufacturing building.  He is very confident and does excellent job with all our hardware.  He is a stud, athletic, loves sports, drives a Jeep Wrangler, and has no trouble finding dates.  In fact, women are lined up every weekend to go out with this guy!  His only issue is he belongs on a very special peer generated list.  The list is titled, “top 10 most likely people that will go postal”.  It’s meant to be kind of funny but there is definitely some bit of truth to it.  He definitely has some kind of emotional problem and sometimes on the verge of just “exploding”.
  15. Sample15: Another guy that has no problem getting dates.  He has been married at least 3times & has about 7 kids that he knows of, by different women.
  16. Sample16: He has pretty good success of finding dates, but he is piss poor from buying them lavish gifts.  He is another one that lives with his parents.
  17. Sample17: He is located in my building and is his early 40’s.  Smart, good looking, & he just broke off his engagement with his longtime girlfriend, actually his girlfriend broke it off.  He wanted to have an “open” style marriage where you are permitted to cheat, with permission.  His fiancé freaked out and said no-way.  He also has this mentality that if he buys dinner, then the date has to go all the way with him.  Really? This is the current standard?

I was disappointed that I couldn’t find anyone that was worthy to marry my fictitous daughter.  Actually, I take that back, I would consider all the video game guys :), they remind too much of myself…lol

In closing I would like to say the following:

To all you single mature slightly-seasoned adult ladies looking for mature adult men:

Unless you like video gamers, it looks really bad.  I really tried to look for a good prospect to even out the result, but it was just one bad sampling after another.  Probability does not look good and I can see why you are having such a hard time finding a keeper.  Good luck finding the one needle in a haystack, and best of luck avoiding those professional daters.  I can seriously see how adopting a pet and living alone would be MUCH better choice than being with some of the said guys from the table.

To all you married folks who are considering cheating on your current spouse for reason other than abuse:

Idea might be tempting and grass might look so green on the other side.  But that patch of grass might only be a sod, as soon as you lift it up you may not like what you see.  It’s a HUGE gamble and odds are well stacked against you.  Fights over money, kids, nagging, dirty dishes, leaving dirty laundry on the floor, toilet seat lid is nothing compared to what’s out there.  Try to forgive & forget and just try to remember back to why you married him/her in the first place 🙂

To all you lucky husbands out there…lol.  You may want to present the data to you wife and tell her she should be so lucky….lol.  I know I will 🙂  Ummm, actually, you better not, you’ll get your ass beat.

Last but not least, big Ben is looking pretty normal to me 🙂

Categories: family, humor
  1. August 2, 2012 at 3:13 pm

    I see you’re a fellow MMA fan! Right on, Chris. And yeah, it’s grim out in the dating world. I hear this from my single friends a lot. I lucked out in finding a great guy to marry but it really was just dumb luck. And you’re right, Big Ben is looking pretty good next to the sampling you listed…

    • August 2, 2012 at 3:35 pm

      lol, why does it not surprise me that you follow MMA…hahaha. Mr. kitty speaks volume, doesn’t he? lol
      When you look at whats out there, it truly becomes a miracle when you do find your right one. Gratz to you and your needle in a haystack 🙂
      Ben just needs to disconnect from his mother and that should solve lot of his issues.

  2. August 2, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    Chris, Chris, where do I begin? lol

    Great writing you did here and I would like to believe that it is fiction, but sadly it is real life. All men are defective one way or another- lol Just kidding people, keep your shirt on!!

    I am so embarrassed my face is burning: I really thought that you had something else in mind with your comment regarding my requirement that my partner travels with me to Brazil to visit my family. I am the one with the mind in the gutter!!

    At any rate, my family is very important to me and if a guy is not contacting me because he doesn’t want to travel to an amazing country to spend a few days with amazing people that he didn’t even meet yet, then he has issues! and I am glad he is not contacting me! That standard I am not lowering!

    Thank you for putting me in your list of five Brazilian faves! I am equally a fighter as the other 4!!

    I will probably have to read it a couple of more times to be able to digest the whole thing, and will probably return and give you some more of my 2 cents.

    Thank you for your research, unfortunately it is not news to us women in the market!
    Are you saying I have 2 options: Either learn to play and love video games or become a lesbian?

    In that case, do you know if they have a “Video Games for Dummies” book?

    By the way defective and dysfunctional is the new normal!! (great news for the Bens of the world!)

    since I am one of your faves can you indulge me by not calling me middle aged? 🙂

    Great job! Great post! Great new friend! 🙂

    • August 2, 2012 at 3:52 pm

      It was a real eye opener, I was not expecting the kind of result I was finding. I’m sure it gets even tougher for women because lot of them will probably do their best to hide their flaws when courting a woman.
      I guess you are right that all PEOPLE are defective one way or another…hahaha. It just comes down to acceptability. I’m sure my standard for my fictitious daughter might be slightly skewed, but I can’t be that far off…lol
      lol, you didn’t know that you were implying you wanted your date to meet your parents in that line? hahaha, it was the first thing that popped into my head…hahaha. But like you said, you put that there because it is probably one of the most important things in your life.
      Putting in you in my fave 5 was easy 🙂 and, yes, you certainly are a fighter 🙂
      lol, you don’t have to learn to play and love video games to pick up a gamer. Someone like you can simply walk into any high end laptop store and pick and choose which nerd you want…lol. I don’t know about becoming a lesbian…lol, just promise me you will not become a man-hater…lol
      LOL@ “vdeo games for dummies book” you crack me up on this one. Seriously, just go into any video game gatherings such as: comic-con, blizz-con, midnight game release parties, and you can pick and choose anybody there, I’m serious….lol
      I don’t call you middle aged, I call you wonderwoman 🙂

      • August 2, 2012 at 4:44 pm

        I meant defective in a good way- lol, as in we all have our quirks and uniqueness!
        I didn’t think that I was implying that the potential dates would meet my family, I was stating it! I assumed that everyone would jump at the chance! How naïve of me!! Isn’t the point of dating to get to know someone? So I fully expected someone to feel honored to get to know my roots! I also assumed that everyone would jump at the chance of traveling to Brazil and spending a few days with the locals if given a chance. Brazilians are one of the most welcoming people in the world, so that alone is an experience everyone must have once in their lives!
        I love men too much, flaws and all, to become a lesbian! And I do believe that there are great men out there (I know a couple!). Eventually my soul mate will find me, I mean, we will find each other. So no need for me to go lurking in video game houses, etc. But you make a point; I should be where eligible men are. Hopefully eligible men that share my interest. And in a way I have been doing that! By learning and pursuing what I love: tennis, skiing, Zumba, mosaic, French language, blogging, spirituality, traveling, I think I will meet likeminded individuals and probably my soul mate.
        …or maybe not, one day I could be crossing the street and bump into someone and get hit by cupid’s arrow – and he could be a sexaholic or worst, a 40 year old virgin, that is addicted to video games and pb&js, wears orthopedic shoes and has fathered more children than some of the highest paid athletes! Oh God help me!
        Indeed I am a woman with so many wonders!
        Leaving now and will stay away until Monday! Will write about my weekend adventure on Monday!
        A wonderful weekend full of blessings! 🙂

        • August 2, 2012 at 6:24 pm

          NY guys? lol, fat chance…hahaha. I love Brazillians family bond, and they all seem so likeable, even though I know they will “jitsu” me to death if I tried anything stupid…lol
          But, yea, you definitely need familiy oriented man 🙂
          You know of a couple of good ones? congratz! when is the wedding?…lol
          You probably will find your right one, just make sure you are not involved with a bad one when the good one makes his appearance 🙂
          You hit on something that is another really good blog topic. There are many couples that have amazing stories on how they met. I love the ones where it came down to “seconds” or “mundane opportunity”. My friend, Larry, met his wife when he was asked to take some wedding photos for some random people. He initially turned it down because he had a date for that weekend. Something happened and he ended up helping out with the wedding photo. Wedding ended and everybody cleared out except for Larry, his camera partner, and this lone girl helping to clean up the room. That was the girl he would eventually marry 🙂
          Things can really happen out of nowhere, when you are least expecting 🙂

          • August 3, 2012 at 8:59 am

            Chris I am like you now, I should be on vacation now, instead I am checking in on my baby (blog). I hope to be able to turn off the rest of the weekend. But here is my reply to you:
            I am never giving up hope in NY – a city that never sleeps must have 1 or 2 great guys still left!
            Well, if you try something stupid then you deserve to get jiu jitsued all over you! I am may even help and do some capoeira moves on you!!
            I said I knew a couple of good guys, actually more than a couple, but they fall in the following categories: lives too far, too young, too married(lol), no chemistry.
            I do love your point: “just make sure you are not involved with a bad one when the good one makes his appearance”. And I will certainly take it to heart. Sometimes one can confuse loneliness with attraction!
            I do love stories such as of your friend Larry. It enforces my believe that anything can happen any where at any time, one just needs to get out of the house. Actually my favorite words are: serendipity and kismet! Do you think they make good children’s name? lol
            Anyway, saying good bye again, and I will go on my weekend away pretending not to be expecting anything, but secretly hoping for miracles!! 🙂

            • August 3, 2012 at 10:07 am

              Yay, for folks working on their vacation…lol. Where are you at?
              Don’t be too hung up on finding a NY guy, location will work itself out once you find that someone. I never thought I would leave Wisconsin, but here I am in MD…lol. But you are probably right, I’m sure there is at least 1-2 great guys still left…lol
              Yikes! I knew you were aggressive & “dangerous”…lol.
              I agree, loneliness w/ attraction can lead you to some pretty bad characters. Its the only explanation to why some of the perpetual cheaters can have so many women.
              Marriage stories like Larry are everywhere! Like you said, you just gotta stay active to increase the probability of beeing matched up like that 🙂
              lol @ serendipity and kismet…are you going all “Tom Cruise” on me now? hahaha
              You are the only person I know that says goodbye before hello…lol. Have awesome time at your vacation! secretly hoping for miracle is as romantic as it gets…hahaha.

              • August 3, 2012 at 11:03 am

                As I mentioned in about 20 minutes I will be en route to the airport to go to Atlanta. I have no vacation scheduled this summer so I was feeling anxious, static! So these couple of days should hold me up until I actually plan something else.
                I would move for love, I actually did that on my previous relationship and would do it again!
                Yes, be forewarned I am easily flammable! lol
                I was never one to follow rules, so good bye, hello, good bye again, actually write you later is probably the most appropriate one if I were to follow rules.
                I know there will be no romance on this trip, this is strictly friendship, but airports can be goldmines for hot guys, pilots, business travellers, etc (eternal hopeful). At any rate, I just love travelling, airports, train stations, etc, I just think that that coming and going is magical!
                As I put in my facebook today: “I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel’s sake. The great affair is to move.”
                ― Robert Louis Stevenson

                • August 3, 2012 at 11:33 am

                  hahaha, just replied to that one now. You are going to have a great time 🙂
                  True love is definitely worth sacraficing any career over 🙂
                  Your description about airport travel sounds EXACTLY like the conversation I recently had with big Ben…lol. He is really good about talking to EVERYBODY. I told him I felt bad for the woman that ends up sitting next to him…lol. He got really offended…hahaha. I hate talking to anybody while I’m flying, but Ben thinks that is just really rude…lol.
                  I’m glad you are just getting out there and taking everything in 🙂

        • August 5, 2012 at 4:59 pm


          When you say this: “Isn’t the point of dating to get to know someone? So I fully expected someone to feel honored to get to know my roots!”

          Honored to meet your family? Are you kidding? I can’t be sure because what you’re saying is so crazy.

          No man is going to want to meet your family unless he is ready to MARRY you. Come on. Most men think of meeting the woman’s family as a chore, something they would rather avoid. Why do you think there are so many mother-in-law jokes?

          • August 5, 2012 at 5:29 pm

            That is a valid comment. Most men will probably agree with that, or at least think about it…
            Thanks for your view Carolina.

            • August 6, 2012 at 3:35 pm

              I don’t want “most” men, I am looking for a special one, just like me! 🙂

              • August 6, 2012 at 3:53 pm

                lol, thats right, you are the one that has to live with him for rest of your life 🙂
                I’m guessing you just got back from your vacation? Anything good happen? 🙂

                • August 6, 2012 at 3:56 pm

                  good? tons of good stuff. You will have to wait for the post that I will eventually write.
                  but I will advance you a tidbit: there is still no love connection! 🙂

                  • August 6, 2012 at 4:03 pm

                    lol, poor bastard! You sure you are not mentally tormenting him? hahaha.

                    • August 6, 2012 at 4:10 pm

                      lol, I guess some can look at it that way! but no, it was just friendship and he knew it, but still he hopes it grows into something else.
                      running out to catch train, busy night tonight with tennis lesson and zumba. later alligator 🙂

          • August 6, 2012 at 3:33 pm

            I am dead serious!
            The point of my e-Harmony profile was that I expect my life partner to participate in my life and travelling twice a year to Brazil is a big part of my life.
            I am not saying I am meeting someone tomorrow and dragging him down to Brazil to meet the family, but I fully expect someone that I am serious with to want to meet my family as I will want to meet his.
            I honestly don’t think it is too much to ask for. If a man is scared or, as you say, “think it is a chore” to meet my family then clearly he is not the person for me!
            Thank you for your comment and many blessings! 🙂

            • August 6, 2012 at 4:14 pm

              his statement of “think it is a chore” is not that far off from the truth 😦
              I have maybe 1 friend that is somewhat really close with his inlaws and will look forward to some limited amount of visitations. All the other ones, me included, will bail at the first chance of bailing out 😦
              I love my in-laws as much as I love my parents, but I just feel phone call or video conference is good enough. My wife knows this and deals with it appropriately…lol

            • August 6, 2012 at 5:13 pm


              Although it may be great for you to travel to see your family, only a man who plans to spend the rest of us life with you would want to go through that. And you aren’t going to get to that point with a man if you insist he MUST meet your family and that’s a deal breaker. (you even mention on an online dating site.)

              Try a little sensitivity. Put yourself in his shoes. Would you want to travel to a foreign country, where you don’t speak the language, so you can be scrutinized and judged by people you don’t know for your potential as a mate? Does that sound like a good time to you?? Cause if it doesn’t, why would he want to do that?

              I’m beginning to think you’re another one who needs to stock up on cat litter boxes. (See my blog on ending up a crazy cat lady.) You’re insensitive.

  3. purpleowltree1234
    August 2, 2012 at 4:12 pm

    This is tragically hilarious. I had to stop reading it a couple times and look away so I didn’t laugh (ribs hurt). The thing I’m wondering, is this indicative of all single guy pools out there, or is your workplace a particularly lean spot to find a decent single guy? It’s not a pretty picture! But man it’s funny the way you wrote it. 😀 NOT laughing. I do like your analytical brain, Chris. You got straight to the main points women would want to know about these available men.
    An analysis like this makes me start thinking if you *really* wanted to be in a relationship, I do think altering your standards to include serious gamers, could be useful. Mind you, I’ve gotten stuck in the gaming vortex a number of times in my life, but I always eventually get bored of it and want to go back to getting other things done (and I’ve never been able to fly any sort of aircraft in games; I crash them immediately).
    I do think perhaps the guy who eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches ONLY is looking pretty good! hahahhaa! I could eat my macaroni and he could eat his p&j sandwiches and I could talk and he could be quiet and what a happy world we could have! HAHA!
    Mind you, it is an awful mirror to look in and see what *any* guy would have to put up with my crew, let alone just with me. Ohhhh my goodness. I should get tattooed on our forehead, “DANGER, stay the HELL away from this person!” hahahaa I bet Delilah would find a way to hide it, or to use it to her advantage.
    By the way, I’d *love* to go to the Crayola Factory! 🙂 Can you buy millions of crayons in the same colour (purple)? I could make a really cool and beautiful installation for my wall with millions of crayons in the same colours. And the smell of them is heavenly! 🙂 (See? I could make any man run away!)
    You are a true friend to go to this effort for A Star on the Forehead. And now you can truly understand the kind of field she is playing. And you can *absolutely* see how fantastically lucky your wife is with you! 😀
    Rach. 🙂

    • August 2, 2012 at 5:59 pm

      my goodness Rach, can you at least move around and answer the door these days? And I’m sorry to make you laugh so hard, at least it kept you entertained while you are still immobile?
      You raise an excellent point about my workplace being a particular spot…I am not sure. It was just a curious thing, so Larry Moe and I did some snooping around…lol. And they see to blend in with all the people, its only when you start looking into them with details, is when you find all these odd traits.
      Everybody around me know which group I belong to…lol. I am that predictible. In fact, I have my copy of Diablo 3 all ready to go. I’m just wating on my wife to take her vacation with her friends, and I’ll be a very busy man…lol. Again, this is another area where my wife saves me from my self 🙂
      well, well, well, never knew you played video games before…lol. But you are better off being productive and doing the wonderful things you are doing (piano, art, gardening…)
      Peanut butter and jelly guy works with Larry, so I don’t know much about him. I just know that he sits alone and eats his sandwich everyday. But you are right, he is looking pretty normal, too, with the right gal…hahaha.
      Your Greg seems pretty reasonable, because he might be the only guy that can get along with your crew…lol. You definitely need to stay one step ahead of Delilah…lol
      You are truly an artist, I love your idea with the crayon, and they do smell nice 🙂
      There is NO way I’m going over this data with her…lol

      • purpleowltree1234
        August 2, 2012 at 9:22 pm

        Where will your boys be when your wife goes away and you’re gaming? 🙂 You are so lucky to have a wife who prevents you from doing *everything* that comes naturally to you. hahaha!
        I can tell Kiki will be a gamer, already. 🙂 I support it in moderation, but Greg hates her playing games online or just on my phone even. Haha, I think she’ll be coming over to mom’s house when she wasnts to escape into gaming lands when she’s a bit older. 🙂 I think games are an awesome escape, and it is FUN to have challenges like they give us, so I don’t see them as terrible. I guess I’d like Kiki to take breaks from them, but we can work that out as we go, I guess.
        I can’t believe you’ve got Diablo 3 and you’re leaving it alone!! Oh my goodness, you are GOOOOOD!
        I can get in and out of bed alright, even though it hurts stupidly. My mom packed me with pillows in a semi-sitting position like they do in hospitals, so I’m already half up. Makes it easier. This morning I let Sasa outside briefly, took my kitchen trash outside before it got heavy, changed the kitty litter (that *hurts* most), fed the cats and made and ate macaroni. So I can do some basics. I’ll be in bed for a while now cuz it hurts like hell, but it’s satisfying just to do even small tasks.
        I often wonder about people like the pb&j guy, what people who stay by themselves and don’t talk much, are actually thinking. Is he feeling lonely? Is he happy this way? Does he not see worth in connecting with people, joking or listening to them or anything? Is he waiting for others to go talk with him? Does he just not care? Does he dislike everyone he works with, and that’s why he’s not mixing with people? I often wonder what makes people be so separate from others, with seemingly no connections. Apparently people who do mass murders, like the recent Colorado Batman guy, are *always* loners. That’s what I read recently in Psychology Today, I think. I could go on more abotu this but I’ve written enough here for now.
        I really loved this post of yours. 🙂 It’s a great piece of analysing. 🙂
        Love from Rach.

        • August 2, 2012 at 10:43 pm

          I’ll be gaming when they are asleep 🙂 My wife HATES video games. I’m like a domesticated wild animal…lol. My wife definitely knows how to bring out the best in me, and squash the worst in me…lol
          But as a parent, I am concerned about my boys getting too much into gaming, and I certainly don’t want them being addicted to it. I hope Kiki can resist the temptation 🙂
          I preordered my Diablo about 1.5year before it was released. I was one of those nuts that preordered this game before it was even out…lol. I look at it every night 😦 That is a power of a wife…lol
          omg Rach, you sure you don’t have to go see a doctor? At least you are eating your comfort food 🙂
          The PB&J guy does seem pretty normal, eh? I’m going to talk to Larry about him. It would be interesting to see what he is thinking. But he seems to be an introvert and I know people like that want to be left alone. He is probably happy just being left alone, thats just my guess though. He does belong in a work team that is ver social. He never goes out with the group. You are right about loners and their ability to do something crazy. I guess as long as nobody sets him off….
          I always love your input 🙂 Thanks Rach!

  4. August 2, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    Chris, my friend, you are a HOOT! After reading this post, I am incredibly grateful that I am not a single, middle aged woman! I hate gamers! I may do something special for my hubby tonight. I will have him thank you later!

    • August 2, 2012 at 6:05 pm

      That makes two of us!! 🙂 You have no idea how lucky I am that I don’t have to compete in this dating realm. Everybody has their own case to make and they all probably think they are normal, in their head…lol
      I guess I’m a living proof that gaming addiction can be controlled by certain type of woman…lol.
      Sounds like you and your husband are two peas in a pod, have a wonderful evening together 🙂 I think I’ll take mine out tonight 🙂
      Thanks for visiting, and please come again 🙂

  5. August 2, 2012 at 9:47 pm

    Um…I think you answered your own question here. First, you used yourself and your married friends as examples of good guys but you are taken so thats out! Secondly, no woman in her right mind would be attracted to a man who plays video games all night-boys in mens’s bodies and probably very immature emotionally. The ragers and the sex addicts, out. The man in the orthos? Too old emotionally. Who’s left? Number 8? Quite possibly an ax-murderer. Men who live with their mothers-out! What a sad state of affairs we have here! Why should women lower their standards when this is what we have to put up with? No, stay strong Star. That Victor Pecoraro looks good to me, stick with Brazilians! Chris you crack me up!

    • August 2, 2012 at 10:54 pm

      I guess when you are socializing and hanging out with good guys, you just assume that is the majority of the population, because thats all you see. Boy, was I wrong.
      Video gamer might not be as bad. I think some of this breed is capable of being domesticated. Star brough this point up and I told her I’m a living example that a gamer can be domesticated to be productive…lol.
      I actually think the professinal daters are the worst, because most women probably cannot see the truth. Maybe the thing to do is find someone that can be domesticated 🙂
      Dana, you also have nothing to worry about, you’ll be just fine 🙂
      I’m surprised nobody thought the nunchuck guy was acceptable…lol

  6. August 2, 2012 at 11:00 pm

    Wow! when A Star on the forehead suggested I come to your blog (because I found her followers comments so entertaining) for more of the same – I had no idea. This is better than reality tv (if I watched it anyway). How funny and fun! I really enjoy reading everyone’s comments, oh and of course your post too!!! 🙂

    • August 2, 2012 at 11:12 pm

      YES, that would be Ms. WonderWoman 🙂 Isn’t her personality awesome? I’m glad you think this is better than reality TV…lol. i actually stopped reading books since I started following bloggers. I enjoy having fun with bloggers and it is pretty funny how some comments tend to be more entertaining than a blog…lol. Thank you so much for stopping by, thanks for the like hit, and thank you for this fun comment!

      • August 3, 2012 at 2:52 am

        your welcome. Yeah my kindle isn’t speaking to me anymore either. But I agree I’m having more fun blogging than static reading. I do love my books though! 🙂

        • August 3, 2012 at 9:52 am

          yeah, I think my kindle2 is around here somewhere…lol.

  7. August 3, 2012 at 2:04 pm

    I always knew how lucky I was to be married to my current hubby, but you’ve just given me 17 more reasons to be thankful. 🙂

    • August 3, 2012 at 2:14 pm

      lol, now if only I can find somebody’s blog of 17reasons why I, a husband, should feel so lucky to be married…lol.
      Do you run into any weird ones like this from your side of the gender? lol

  8. August 5, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    Yes it does look nice on your mantle. Thank you Chris. It is a nice feeling to be appreciated! 🙂

    • August 5, 2012 at 2:16 pm

      hahaha, I think all the credit goes to you for creating the awesome artwork, I can only imagine how much time you spent on it!! And to put it in perspective, it only took me about 5 mouse clicks to get it displayed…lol.
      If this is just a small sample of what is to come when your “glass does start to overflow”, I might have to have a dedicated gallery for your work.

      • August 5, 2012 at 3:02 pm

        You are waaaaay to kind. But thank you, I better get busy! 🙂

  9. August 5, 2012 at 7:22 pm

    Ok, ok, ok….seriously I’m not sure which is funnier….the comments or your post. I’m going to have to follow as I am in serious need of humor and laughter in my life!!! 😀 I also started on Blessed With a Star On Her Forehead and now here I am.

    For the record….I’m a single “middle aged” woman….NO…I’m actually pretty young…in my mind anyway. I abhor the phrase “middle aged”…I suppose ‘mature’ will be acceptable. 😉 I’m a unique oddity amongst women…for I love love LOVE video games, of all sorts really. Haaay…maybe that makes me a hot commodity in the dating world??? 😛

    Just “had”to comment…thanks for laughs! 😀

    • August 6, 2012 at 2:21 pm

      Thanks Christina, I most enjoy getting an enthusiasic comment like yours to make my workday go a little faster…lol.
      I need to thank Star for “sending” you over this way, and I’m glad you had fun reading through lot of the comments…hahaha, some of them were pretty funny.
      I’m a fan of humor and laughter too 🙂 I can’t wait to check out your content once I’m done here 🙂
      Regarding “middle aged”, Star did a good job of correcting that mistake…lol. I guess middle age happens when your hair starts falling out and kids are driving you insane…lol. But let me know if you find better word than mature 🙂
      Odd because you love video games???!!! holy crap!! FINALLY!!! I get one supporter for all the gaming nerds out there…lol. Did you see all the love for gaming men? oops, I meant lack of…lol. I think gaming men might have the best potential out of all the choices…lol. There is no doubt you would be a hot commodity with your tolerance for video games 🙂 I think it can be quite romantic when husband & wife team up to save a village from clutches of evil 🙂 So which type of games are you into?
      Thanks again for your wonderful comment and coming out to support video gamers 🙂

  10. August 6, 2012 at 3:34 pm

    LOL! Yes…I might have a better word than “middle aged”…how about “slightly seasoned?”lol 🙂 Woo hoo…I’m a hot commodity! 😛

    Oh, video games and I have quite the love affair!!! And before I lost him, my husband and I spent many many many a night either saving villages from evil or snowboarding down mountains (LOVE SSX Tricky 3)…then came Rock Band…sigh love that too (I’m the drummer who dabbles in guitar)!!! Rachet and Clank is soooo fun because you get to blow up a bunch of stuff/baddies with awesome weapons….I think video games get a bad rap…they can be quite stress relieving when your blowing stuff up or shooting bad guys!!! My son (12) is very very Very in to Gran Turismo 5 right now…he started racing when he was 2 lol! He’s been getting me to race lately…I’m proud to say I’m not too bad haha!!! 😛 So I guess I like all kinds of games! 😀

    Count on me to ALWAYS come to support gamers! 😀 So fun!! 🙂

    • August 6, 2012 at 5:03 pm

      “slightly seasoned” it is! I already made the mod 🙂
      hot commodity indeed…lol. I can see you have lots of fun at comic-cons or Blizzcon..hahaha
      omg@rockband…my wife is a drummer, too! and she is amazing at it. We love the Beatles and we have such good laugh doing it.
      Gran Turismo5 is the probably the most realistic game out there. Did you know the game is programmed from real accelerometer data collected in the field using real instruments, actual vehicles, and real tracks? Your son will be a pro racer or a test engineer when he grows up with that kind of experience…lol.
      Good to hear you have such good relationship with your son 🙂 Maybe you should venture out into RPG type of games, it is sooooo good 🙂

  11. August 6, 2012 at 6:28 pm

    LOL thanks for the mod! 😀 Woo hoo…hot commodity! 😛 I recently missed the San Diego Comic Con with the Doctor Who cast there…so bummed! Was happy to hear the Tardis sound in the Opening Ceremony of the Olympics though! 🙂 Love Doctor Who…I am a geek lol 😛

    That is SO awesome that your wife plays RockBand with you (drums are the best haha). I’ve played the Beatles…so fun! My best friend and I play all the time and pretend we’re real musicians lol…we’re pretty lame huh? 😛

    I didn’t know all the specifics you shared (thank you!) about GT5 (will definitely tell my son though!), except that they put a LOT of time in making each one and that real tracks are used. My son flips through the customization screens so fast I can’t read them! haha He probably will grow up and be an engineer… he has that way about him. Will probably invent virtual reality racing or something lol!

    I’ve played a few RPGs…I really liked Final Fantasy…8 and 10 were my favorite. Any recommendations for me? 😉 In case I haven’t said it enough, I really really like to blow up stuff (in video games lol)!!

    • August 6, 2012 at 7:48 pm

      That is very cool Christina! My wife would freak out if I told her I’m attending one of these geekfests 😦
      Sorry you missed your local comic con, you defnitely would have had a blast, and maybe a date…lol
      I have to admit, Rockband does an amazing job of bringing out the musician in you. I totally understand and appreciate your lameness 🙂
      From what it sounds like, your son is definitely on his way of becoming an engineer. Appreciating the game is one thing, but he’ll soon apreciate everything else that made the game possible 🙂
      Virtual reality racing or virtual reality anything will be the future 🙂
      Final fantasy fan? I already you you’ll be hooked on World of Warcraft. Gosh I miss that game…lol. I still remember running into this horrible player in Warcraft. I talked to her after the battle, and she turned out to be a 65year old lady. She was alone and on a wheelchair for most of the day. She told me she plays the game because its where she has her youth back. She said its the only way she can run, jump, swim, fly, ride a horse, and blow things up. I thought that was so inspirational 🙂

  12. August 6, 2012 at 8:32 pm

    Aww sorry you couldn’t go to a comic con 😦 Sadly, being in Eastern Washington….San Diego is pretty far for me to go. Would have loved a sonic screwdriver!! haha (my Doctor Who obsession is showing…sorry lol) And well a date would have been fun too! Don’t suppose you know any geeky-“slightly seasoned “-girl-loving guys over here? 😛

    Thank you for understanding and appreciating my lameness LOL!!! Not many do!! 😀

    World of Warcraft….yeah, kept hearing about it again and again….really really wanted to check it out, something always came up! Sounds like it would have been a blast though! How awesome that that woman was living vicariously through that game…that IS sooo inspirational!! Miss it….you don’t play anymore? 🙂

    • August 6, 2012 at 8:44 pm

      You near Spokane?
      I used to play world of warcraft everyday when I was a stay home dad…lol. I’m just waiting for things to calm down in my life before I start gaming again 🙂

      • August 6, 2012 at 8:51 pm

        Nope, further south….near Hanford…guess if it explodes I’d be at ground zero haha 😛 I heard once we have more engineers per capita than anywhere else…not sure if thats true or not 😛

        Ahhh, I see! Yes…well when you start playing again you let me know and I will look to you to explain the World of Warcraft to me! 😀

        • August 6, 2012 at 8:58 pm

          Spokane is where my sister married her scientist. Mind you she absolutely HATES video games, too. But can you you guess what happened? She found out he was a world of warcraft addict after she got married to him…rofl. I laughed so hard when she told me that….hahaha
          I am so tempted to play the game again, I’m pretty sure I still have my level80 desstruction warlock on the warcraft server. Those guys always send me an invitation to come back to the game, it is so hard to resist…lol. But I’ll let you know if I ever give in to the temptation again 🙂

          • August 6, 2012 at 9:07 pm

            ROFL that IS funny!!!! I just love all things sci-fi and fantasy…am pretty positive I’d love World of Warcraft! Soooo please do definitely let me know…you shall be my guide…and at level 80 my protector lol!!! 😛

            • August 6, 2012 at 9:52 pm

              hahaha, I GUARANTEE you will have absolutely no problem getting help in that game. The community of WOW is sooooo friendly. Its one of the reasons why it was so hard to leave it…lol. You should give it a whirl tonight 🙂

              • August 6, 2012 at 11:45 pm

                How could I resist a tempting offer like that??? 😛 I will do my best to check it out tonight or as soon as I can, though how do I give up my awesome blog friends (assuming I get addicted to WOW)?! 😀

                • August 7, 2012 at 10:11 am

                  Oh man, I am getting jealous over here..lol. Something tells me I am not too far behind you 🙂
                  What to do with your blog friends? you can convince them to play with you and you can create your own private guild consisting of all your friends and family…lol. Its actually a pretty common practice in warcraft 🙂

  13. August 7, 2012 at 10:33 am

    Oh man… Ben should read my blog. Same thing with the person on e-harm who inspired this blog. I did e-harmony and went out with quite a few nice guys, but the key to the whole thing was being OPEN and not having ungodly high standards. We limit ourselves with this laundry list of qualities that a guy MUST have. Know who ends up being my best matches? The guys who are the complete opposite of my “list.” Hell. I have YET to date a guy with my requisite green eyes, dark hair, and olive complexion and tattoos. WHERE IS HE?!?!

    That all being said, there is someone out there for each and every one of those men you listed because we all have our counterpart. You think guys are weird? Pft! Maybe I can write a blog for you about the single ladies I know. Trust. There is a reason they are single, but that doesn’t mean that their isn’t some other form of madness out there that is perfect for them!

    I may draw the line at orthopedic velcro shoes though. I dated a fashion disaster once. Never. Again. Can’t take him flipping anywhere!

    • August 7, 2012 at 10:44 am

      You raise an excellent point about being open. My wife married me not kowing anything about my bad traits(bait and switch, BABY!!), and my sister(the anti-video gamer) ended up marrying a guy who is a video game addict…lol.
      I would LOVE to see your blog on your said single ladies that you know of…lol.
      Didn’t like the orthopedic show guy? lol…I guess you are not into over-the-top logical guys..hahaha

      • August 7, 2012 at 10:59 am

        I’m not so sure that I should write it. Lord knows they will end up reading it and know I am talking about them haha Bad enough the person who inspired last night’s rant read it…and it’s the first time they have ever remained silent about something I wrote. Truth hurts, sweetheart! You are CRAZY.

        • August 7, 2012 at 11:27 am

          oh come on, they have to accept the realization at some point…SPILL IT!!…lol
          Couldn’t you set up the blog from an anonymous perspective? these friends of yours don’t have to know you are talking about them…lol. I think this is where creative writer in you needs to come out and do her thing…lol

  14. August 7, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    Chris, you are so hilarious.

    I used to play a lot of video games and I was wondering why I got asked out by so many engineering students. Now I see why! lol!

    I am not an expert on relationships, but I think even though there are lots of “good” and “date-able” people out there, it’s not entirely easy to find the “right” person. Some people could seem suitable, but there isn’t always chemistry. So I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people, men or women, who haven’t found someone they click with. At the same time, of course, people need to not have weird and unnecessary expectations, such as “Ben” with his tattoo, cleavage and mom problems.

    • August 7, 2012 at 4:53 pm

      Glad you got some laugh out of it 🙂
      Aren’t engineering students so predictable? lol. Doesn’t take much to make them happy either 🙂
      Seeing how difficult it is to find a mate, makes you appreciate the one you have, doesn’t it? 🙂
      I think with lot of older people, they have been living with their “weirdness” for so long that its normal to them. Thus it becomes, “This is how I am, take it or leave it” attitude. I’m telling you Betty, first real good one that you see, you better snag him up 🙂 I would hate to see you as another statistic, or worse, end up on someone else’s data chart…lol

      • August 8, 2012 at 10:55 am

        I have been with my man-friend for a couple of years now and man is he weird. lol. But I’d like to argue that I’m more weird. He is obsessed with watching discovery channel and history channel documentaries, while I’m obsessed with reading web-comics. He is like a five year old when it comes to being picky with food, while I’ve eaten all kinds of weird food like cow organs and polar bear meat. We’re both clumsy. He forgets things a lot while I walk into glass doors/windows/tree all the time. However, we’re so used to each other’s quirkiness by now and I’m pretty sure our weirdnesses actually contribute to why we like each other so much.

        I would like to “snag him up” but I feel like I don’t want to be settled down at 22. Although I am okay with going steady and see where things go in the future. I recently told my parents about him and they keep telling me I’m too young to be in a serious relationship. I’m pretty sure I want to keep him, but it seems that a lot of my family and friends think I’m too young to decide who is right for me. What do you think? How should I reason with my stubborn parents? Or should I just ignore them.

        • August 8, 2012 at 4:15 pm

          man-friend…why does that sound so funny.lol. It makes it sound like he is waaaaay older than you.
          Of course he is weird, how else is he going to get along with YOU…lol. There is nothing wrong with discovery channel and history channel..lol. I can think of 100 other channels that are far worse 🙂
          You read web-comics? NICE…way to go green, Betty! 🙂
          Funny you bring up food pickiness, because I know lot of guys who are very picky about foods they eat. Maybe men have more disfunctional digestive system than women? My wife can also eat anything and keep it down. If I eat the wrong thing, the whole family has to pay…lol. You sure you wan to leave the “polar bear meat” reference in your comment? you realize environazis and peta members could be tracking you down right now…hahaha
          The fact that he forgets a lot will put you at a huge advantage. It will almost guarantee you will win every argument 🙂 You realize they make very lightweight helmets for people like you, or maybe one of those karate sparring headgear..lol. Please be careful with yourself, I really don’t want to read about some eye poking incident in your blog because you walked into a tree 😦
          The way you desribe your relationship sounds so dang cute, I want to peuk….just kidding just kidding, I think you guys make a really cute couple 🙂
          Some people want to get married and have kids asap while some people want to focus more on career. You’ll definitely be doing your career a favor by staying single. You can travel & relocate anywhere/anytime, you don’t have to worry about arguing over bank accounts, who pays for what, what furniture to buy, etc…
          Question over whether you are too young to decide is a very valid question. Did you look at enough “data points” to know he is the best one? how about from perspective of money, trust, &kids. Apparently thats what most couples fight over.
          Based on our past conversations, I think your biggest driving force is going to be your career. Stay single till you reach a comfortable stage in your career. Once you get married you are going to get really annoyed if you are either forced to work or forced not to work…lol Did I ever tell you how annoyed I am because I HAVE to work? lol
          I think your parents are probably right, they know how driven you are and probably don’t want you to lose focus on crap like relationship…lol. At 22, you will probably have PLENTY of opportunities to pick your best of the best.
          Just keep a close monitor on the objective and pounce on it if its about to disapear or if its confirmed as the best option 🙂
          or do what my sister did. Let everybody know you are dating someone via wedding invitation…lol

        • August 8, 2012 at 5:00 pm

          LOL environazis. Actually whenever someone tells me they’re an environmentalist, vegan, or peta supporter, I tell them about my polar bear experience. Generally just to see if I can make them angry. I’m surprised I haven’t been stabbed yet.

          I recently started to learn how to Rollerblade, haven’t broken myself yet, but that’s mainly because I suit up with every type of protective armor short of a space suit. Actually, I think I might blog about that. It’s quite funny.

          Career is definitely my biggest focus, and for the next 5-10 years I don’t think it will fall off #1 on my propriety list. I just don’t want to be one of those people who focus so much on their careers they disregard maintaining a healthy relationship. But I guess I will just have to try to keep a healthy balance as much as I can.

          On the topic of “man-friend.” I think every time I call someone my “boyfriend” I feel like I’m still in high school. “Man-friend” seems grown up. lol. Yeah I’m weird. And he is not waaaaaay older than me. He’s only like a few years more than a decade older than me. …lol yeah that’s another reason why my parents are freaking out and keep on telling me to stay single.

          • August 9, 2012 at 3:32 pm

            When you were younger, were you one of those kids that would poke a stick at a hornet’s nest? lol. Please think about your friends and loved ones before you decide to do something thats going to get you stabbed…lol
            Your blog about a protective space suit sounds like a hit already, can’t wait to check it out 🙂
            For someone so driven as you, you might want to cut the relationship cord for next 5 years 🙂 I’ve always felt relationship impedes on a career progress. You’ll be at a huge advantage if you go “achorless” for next several years 🙂
            boyfriend sounds cute, man-friend sounds little creepy…lol. Maybe that will be an excellent poll question for you..lol.
            Really? only that old, eh? lol. Drop everything and go 100% in on your career….I think you’ll go REALLY far. You should cram in 10years worth of work in 5 years and pick out a CEO for yourself after that…lol. I bet that would make your parents very happy 🙂

            • August 13, 2012 at 10:00 am

              Alright! Get ready to see me on the Forbes billionaire lists in the next few years! Or top 10 designers in the world! Then wait for my call looking for a CEO. 😀

              • August 13, 2012 at 11:14 am

                Now that is an awesome 5year plan! Do eeeet!!

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