Home > auto, children, family, humor, offroad, wife > horrid memory into funny memory in less than 1year (part 1)

horrid memory into funny memory in less than 1year (part 1)

This conversation came up during our lunch time w/ Larry, Moe, Curly, & Shemp.  We are scientist, scientist, engineer, & engineer, respectively.  I point this out because it’s amazing what kind of stupid discussion we can have, given the education level.  It goes to show you that education does not make you smarter…lol.  We are all married with two kids, except Shemp.

We decided to do some manly offroading with our trucks.  I have a Jeep Cherokee, Larry has a Toyota FJ, and Moe has a Honda Ridgeline.  Place we went is called Rausch Creek Off road park in PA.  This is the real deal, nothing but sea of lifted rock crawlers and jeeps.  Everybody had fun except for the Ridgeline guy.  We had to winch him out of the park.  He damaged his transmission for sure.  Thick smell of roasted transmission oil was a sure sign it needed overhauling. 

Once we got out, we were all pleased with our capable 4x4s, minus Moe.  We operate in a buddy system.  Larry and I barraged Moe with reasons and justifications why he NEEDS to get a different vehicle, a real truck, a man’s truck!  This kind of pressuring by close friends worked! He found enough strength and bravery to face his wife.  Before I continue further, I need to fill you in on his wife.  She is a mean, large, and in charge.  Whatever she says goes, there are no if/and/buts.  If she wants a rabbit, you pick one up by next day.  If she wants a bird, you pick up the complete kit.  If she wants a dog, you pay whatever it costs to get the one that she wants.  If she wants a cat, you say yes ma’am and shut up.  Moe doesn’t have anything left for a backbone, it’s just cartilage. 

Being good friends we are, we told him to stand up to his wife and demand that he be allowed to have some adventure time with us.  Moe is only allowed to come out if his wife okays it.  It gets really freakin annoying to plan anything around his schedule because of “it”.  So we really pumped him up to stand up to his wife, we coached him, and we did some dry-runs of all the different scenarios of the argument. 

We practiced for about a week and it was finally time.  Larry and I were on standby all evening, just in case if something goes wrong.  Moe would be welcome to stay at my house or Larry’s house for however long. 

We finally received an email at 11pm!!! He had the green light to purchase a beater Jeep!  I did reply-all, “Oh, HELL YEAH!”  Larry replied something that wasn’t politically correct, but we were all so happy for Moe.  His “backbone” was finally strengthening!

Our next day consisted of heavy strategizing of the purchase.  We said the purchase has to happen ASAP, before she changes her mind.  Three of us hit Craigslist and EBay really hard.  Found a beater Jeep for $3000usd and we all went to check it out.  It was a great truck, Larry and I gave it four thumbs up.  Moe paid for and you can tell he was beaming.  Not only was this a capable 4×4, it was a trophy, trophy of conquering his fear and adversity.  That made all of us proud of him.  He is such a great guy and he should be able to reward himself once in a while like this.  I volunteered my time to get it fixed up to pass state inspection.  After about 2weeks of repair, the truck was finally ready.  We held a team meeting and we all agreed to hit the 4×4 park for upcoming Saturday, we were set….so we thought…

Moe’s Jeep was definitely worth $3k, but it wasn’t perfect, it was actually next solar system over from being perfect.  Moe decided to celebrate this joyous occasion by driving it around with his two young girls, ages 5 and 7.  They are such adorable little kids, and their daddy loves them to death!  It was a beautiful day, Jeep is driving great, and his girls are having a blast in the back seat. 

Things suddenly turned for the worst when Moe decided to drive his beater Jeep through a mechanical car wash.  I don’t know if you’ve ever been through one, but it’s the kind with 3 giant mechanical rollers; two on either sides and one huge one on the top….Moe’s Jeep is a RAGTOP (made of cloth), a very very very old ragtop 😦

Water started pouring in as some of the smaller holes turned into bigger holes, and the spinning of the rotating machine banging against a cloth cover made it sound like you are in a tornado.  Two girls are screaming in the back, & Moe is screaming in the front.  Moe tries to start the car but it sputters to a stop, he can’t get it started.  In his last ditch effort to save his daughters, he threw himself to the back seat and covered up his two girls.  He feared the roof was going to collapse and kill his girls.

Good news is they all survived, but the ragtop was no longer a top, it was just a rag.    His last email to us was, “I am so fucked”.  Larry and I were frantic; we tried calling him, texting, & email, but no response.    Larry and I were feeling so guilty.  If it weren’t for us, Moe and his girls would have been fine.  One can only guess what kind of wrath he was dealing with.  His girls poured their heart out to their mommy and pretty much ratted him out.  No one knows what happened next inside Moe’s house…  I just know whatever backbone Moe had it just turned into string cheese.  Larry and I were very scared for him.

We finally got email back from Moe saying he can’t join us for the next 4×4 adventure, and that he is selling his Jeep.  He didn’t join us for lunch during that whole month, and he ended up giving the Jeep away for $1500. 

It’s been almost a year since the fallout, and it looks like everything is back to normal.  Moe has paid his “prison sentence” and is able to breathe fresh air again.  We talk about this incident once in a while, and we just start cracking up and it always ends with, “What the hell were you thinking, man?”…ROFL!

Categories: auto, children, family, humor, offroad, wife
  1. purpleowltree1234
    May 16, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    Oh man. What WAS he thinking? How scary for the girls- and for him who’s meant to be their protector! He would have felt SO bad!! 😦 So what does Moe drive now? I still think your group of friends were awesome in supporting Moe and helping him achieve a beautiful victory. Him deciding to take it through the carwash wasn’t your fault, so I see no place for your guilt at all! I love it when people get together and make each other stronger. 🙂
    Hanging out for your next post, as always. 🙂
    Love from Rach.

    • May 16, 2012 at 2:17 pm

      “Moe” is an interesting guy. He has a stready streak of getting into a car wreck every year. He wrecked his van, acura, ridgeline, & fj so far. He is currently driving another FJ at the moment. Its only matter of time before he wrecks that one too. We almost never get in his car when we go out to eat..lol. We don’t feel any guilt now, but we were sure feeling pretty guilty then. His wife probably told him not to hang out with us…lol.

      I love having your support on my blog 🙂 And I’m slllooooowly catching up to reading all your articles 🙂

      • purpleowltree1234
        May 16, 2012 at 2:30 pm

        Time for a defensive driving course for Moe? My brother did a US military one in the Philippines and he’s an AWESOME driver. I don’t think he’s ever had a wreck. He drives an Alfa Romeo (one designed wholely by a team of women- reminds me of a crouching panther). Lives are pretty valuable… and yearly wrecks put them at risk…
        Ditto about support on your Blog. 🙂 Love your Blog!
        My posts are going to stay there, so there’s never a rush. 🙂 There’ll be a book one day anyway, and you’re getting sent two copies. 🙂
        Love from Rach.

        • May 16, 2012 at 2:38 pm

          He needs to become a millionaire so he can HIRE a personal driver. I understand accidents happen, but you gotta be suspicious of a track record like that. He had a heck of a time finding an insurance company that will cover him.
          Definitely keep me in the loop on your book writing venture. Let me know if you run into any problem finding a publisher or getting the funding for getting your book published. You just write your manuscript and everything else will just happen, I promise 🙂

          • purpleowltree1234
            May 16, 2012 at 2:46 pm

            ((((hugs)))) You are Amazing. Big SQUEEZY ((((hugs))))!
            Love from Rach.

            • May 16, 2012 at 2:48 pm

              awe, you are too kind.

              • purpleowltree1234
                May 16, 2012 at 2:55 pm

                No, You are!!

  2. cookiemomma
    May 16, 2012 at 6:22 pm

    hahaha! I almost peed my pants. Ok so I thought all scientist and engineers were Big Bang Theory types of guys (love the show btw). First off you guys did nothing wrong by making Moe stand up to his wife, I don’t think any relationship should be that way. When one side is that controlling the other side loses themselves and they are no longer the person that the other originally fell in love with and the relationship spirals downward. It is just downhill from there. Maybe he should get all “Christian Grey” on her…lol Loved the story though, would make a great short fiction.

    • May 16, 2012 at 9:30 pm

      Big bang theory types of guys? lol. Thats why we gotta do some cool 4wheelin’ because we don’t want to be like those guys..lol. From what I understand, she was always that way, and he just deals with it. Larry has a good theory on why he married her, but I’ll just leave it at that…lol. He should get all christian grey?? no idea

  3. May 16, 2012 at 9:31 pm

    Now that is funny stuff…thanks Chris…kind of wish I lived close by…I’m sure you guys could use one more on adventure runs.

    Be encouraged!

    • May 16, 2012 at 9:39 pm

      one more adventure run…hmmm…thats sounds suspicious, as in running for 100s of miles suspicious!! you will systematically kill us all, step by step. And you will have to explain why we are all dead, to Moe’s wife…lol

  4. May 16, 2012 at 10:18 pm

    WOW, this story is pretty wild. I am glad he was able to build a small backbone however the car wash story is quite terrifying. Mechanic car washes are scary enough even w/o that rooftop. lol

    • May 16, 2012 at 10:22 pm

      Moe……..is…….a……rocket scientist…

      • May 16, 2012 at 10:25 pm


        • May 16, 2012 at 10:35 pm

          if you don’t say it, I’ll say it
          “It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know you shouldn’t go through a car wash with a beatup ragtop and 2 little girls in the back”

  5. May 17, 2012 at 7:01 am

    Offroading? Are you kidding me? Wow! Next time, call! LOL
    Great story telling Chris! You da man!

    • May 17, 2012 at 11:26 am

      Oh man it was so much fun but we’ve never gone back since then. But yeah, I’ll call you up next time we go out again…lol. Our new manly flavor of the month is motocrossing. Apparently we just discovered we all grew up watching Charley Brown(peanuts). There are several motocross episodes that’s been lingering all these years. Larry was the first one to pull the trigger on a motocross bike, but very sadly had to return it(worth a blog story) 😦 we all have to reload and strategize on this one.

      • May 17, 2012 at 11:33 am

        Motocross? Nice! You guys sound like a great bunch! Kudos for keeping the friendship so tight!
        My son rebuilds vintage dirbikes, snowmobiles and lawn tractors. He’s been racing vintage sleds for a few years. It still amazes me how well known he is in this area. Grown men come to him to fix things. I hope he creates a few “lifelong relationships” with some of his current friends. Life is so much better when you make memories with special people. I pray his father’s anti-social attitude isn’t passed down. That would be a shame.

        • May 17, 2012 at 1:42 pm

          My little group puts Seinfeld to shame…lol. I especially love sharing all my lunch stories with my wife. Sometimes we’d be up all night laughing and snorting like pair of piggies because its just so funny, and we feed off of each other’s laughter. This jeep incident was one of them. My wife’s first comment was, “isn’t Moe a rocket scientist?” and we were just balling.
          I think its cool your son has the skillset and interest to work on equipment like that. Double that up with nice coushy union job and he’ll be set! His father’s anti-social attitude shouldn’t be a factor when he grows up, I think its more important who your friends are and who you grow up with. I know because I come from long line of hard nosed anti-social genealogy. Saying my dad is man of few words is putting it in too many words. I’m definitely anti-social as well, but my wife says I am fun anti-social…lol. I would say keep encouraging your son with his hobby and just make sure he stays out of trouble 🙂

  6. May 17, 2012 at 6:38 pm

    WEll, if he turns out to be a fun anti-social I can live with that. He’s somewhat shy (he’s been bullied a lot because he’s different so to speak). Never fit in with the regular kids. Let’s just say he’s gifted…..LOL. From kindergarten and onwards we’ve been told he’d be working for NASA someday. I just hope he continues with his education after high school and doesn’t fall pray to his father’s attempts at getting him on a construction site with the lure of big money when he’s 18 yrs old. I can’t see him being happy with that. His mind needs to keep busy so I’m hoping he’ll go follow through with college or university courses until he finds his “path”.

    • May 17, 2012 at 11:36 pm

      lol, I think he should explore all opportunities 🙂 Working for NASA, eh?? rofl. Its really not as glamorous as you think it may be. Its actually the biggest dissapointing & underwhelming organization I’ve ever worked for. If he wants money, go with the bridge building and road construction business, it will always have good influx of governement funding. If he wants to hang out with people like me, Larry, Moe, and Shemp, then NASA is the way to go. FYI, if you scroll down to my blog called “inches away from a bad day” you will get a glimpse of what you live with in the science area…lol. You want honesty? work sucks, only reason I’m working is so that I don’t have to work 🙂

      • May 18, 2012 at 6:51 am

        NASA not glamorous? No! Really?! LOL
        Trust me, I don’t think for a minute that anything scientific would be glamorous. But then again, I don’t think modelling is glamorous either. 😉
        As long as he’s happy doing what he’s doing, he’ll be fine. There’s a difference between being happy with your paycheque vs being happy by what you do to get it.

  7. May 18, 2012 at 10:54 am

    Oh my gosh Chris, this made me laugh until I could no longer see the screen! What a great story!!! Poor Moe though. I almost wish it had been his wife in the back of the Jeep.

    • May 18, 2012 at 11:06 am

      My wife couldn’t fall asleep the night I told her this story, because she was laughing so hard. Oh my goodness, just thinking about his two daughters and Moe during that incident….wow. Hey now, lets take it easy on the man’s wife. Who knows what Moe would be up to if it weren’t for her(alcohol, drugs, criminal, etc)…lol. Its kinda our internal joke when we say Moe would be a drug dealer if it weren’t for his wife…lol I just know that she is the love of his life…can I hear an “awe” 🙂

      Another thing, I was hoping to see your follow up on Colbert report, did you get anything or any other honorable mention? lol. still pretty cool though.

  8. May 18, 2012 at 9:46 pm

    It’s a hilarious mental picture, and I don’t even know what this family looks like! You painted it well. Moe doesn’t sound like the drug dealing type, but you never know what path he may have taken.

    Still no word from Stephen. Sigh….I’ll just sit here and wait.

    • May 18, 2012 at 9:58 pm

      I will let him know that you are looking for him, if I get an opportunity to meet him 🙂

    • May 18, 2012 at 10:36 pm

      He actually bought all those items I outlined above: birds, rabbits, cats, dog, ferret, guinea pigs, etc… His house is a zoo and he has to take care of all those animals when he gets back from work. Poor guy. But like I said, better to be a “zoo keeper” than a drug dealer..lol

      • May 20, 2012 at 11:51 am

        This story reminds me of The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber by Ernest Hemingway. He should read it….my guess for what it’s worth, is that he deep down believes that he is not worthy or good enough and that’s why he sticks with his wife and that’s why he does stupid things such as getting into car accidents and deciding to drive a ragtop through a car wash, it’s a self fullilling prophecy (see they were right, I’m a jerk and need decisions made for me) and he really needs to be careful because he could hurt himself or someone else one day if he’s not careful! I think it’s great that you guys have the support of one another. Maybe you should start him out with golf or something safer btw!! Great re-telling of the story!!

        • May 20, 2012 at 12:41 pm

          dang, you are fully recharged from your vacation..lol. Excellent point about the “self fullfilling prophecy”. It really is the only way to explain these coincidences. What really needs to happen is for his insurance company to drop him from the policy. One more car accident will ban him from driving for sure. Larry has already said everything you said about Moe and his wife…lol.
          Rest of us are doing all we can to help him get some backbone back, again.

          • May 20, 2012 at 4:26 pm

            Aww, and I thought I was being original! lol Tell him to read that story, I’m sure he’ll get a lot out of it!! There’s always therapy.

  9. purpleowltree1234
    July 14, 2012 at 2:05 pm

    omg. just. omg. he’s so stuck with her. D. X

    • July 14, 2012 at 3:13 pm

      oh yeah, there is no way he is leaving her. she would have him tortured and killed if he tried anything stupid…lol

      • purpleowltree1234
        July 14, 2012 at 7:33 pm

        Is that gona be Part 2???? D. X

        • July 14, 2012 at 9:12 pm

          hmmm, I think part 2 will be about Larry. We are such a strange funny bunch. You and all your roommates with DID will fit right in with us…lol

          • purpleowltree1234
            July 14, 2012 at 9:52 pm

            tell us bout larry. i’m always up for a laugh. 😀 if we’d fit in with y’all you guys must be Really strange!!!! LOL D. X

            • July 14, 2012 at 10:00 pm

              There is a preview of Larry on “Larry J won the megamillion” blog…lol. That gives you good idea what is to come…lol. Makes me laugh thinking about it.
              And yes, we are pretty weird. The fact that I get along with you and your roommates should be a dead giveaway..lol. Well maybe except for Carmen 🙂

              • purpleowltree1234
                July 14, 2012 at 10:03 pm

                whoah, you’re makin me tread dangerous ground criticisin Carmen. if she bans me from talkin to ya I can end up in the dungeon for it. i avoid tht. I read the Larry J one n I’m just like omg what a stupid thing to set himself into, people will hate him. but if it gets funny, you must share!!!! D. X

                • July 14, 2012 at 10:11 pm

                  omg, you kidding me? let me rephrase what I really meant. I LOOOOOVE Carmen. She does an amazing job of multi-tasking and dealing with all the tough issues. Hats off to Carmen the keeper!

                • purpleowltree1234
                  July 14, 2012 at 10:25 pm

                  thaaaat’s the way. 🙂 no seriously, I respect Carmen tons. she’s kept us alive more than any others of us have individually. D. X

                  • July 14, 2012 at 11:33 pm

                    I agree 🙂 She has a lot of people to manage, and I’m sure they are all pretty difficult in their own way.

  10. January 6, 2013 at 4:10 pm

    Hey, Pal, thanks for directing me to this. If you ever want to give up your engineering gig, you’ll have a job sit-com writing. It’s a talent to write and make someone laugh, and I mean for real, you did it! My hubby, drives a Honda Accord, and not because of no backbone…we’re just aging and downsizing but now after this, and we have two big dogs, we might rethink this whole thing. He’s not into blogging but I’ll have him read this. BTW, he wasn’t an engineer at NASA and I dare not tell you his job for fear of label alienation cuz what does it matter anyway! If you ever get to our neck of the woods, stop by, we’ll take ya’ll out for a meal. 🙂 Not kidding!

    • January 6, 2013 at 7:58 pm

      lol, I had a small hunch you would enjoy this one 🙂 Its great to know I have an endorsement from an accomplished writer for a writing gig!
      Were you implying your hubby might get a Jeep wrangler now? lol. They are fun little vehicles, I think both of you will enjoy it immensely. There are MANY areas in California thats suppose to be spectacular for offroad sight seeing adventure.
      I’ll have to consider your offer if I ever make my way out that way.lol. Tell your hubby to start blogging, I’m sure he has plenty of things to vent about.lol

  11. January 6, 2013 at 4:18 pm

    P.S. Hi, Paulette’s husband here. I read the post and I can’t believe an engineer was dumb enough to drive a rag top full of holes through a mechanical car wash without considering the consequences, lol.

    • January 6, 2013 at 8:04 pm

      lol, yeah, I make that pretty clear in my about page, just because you have a fancy degree or phd doens’t mean anything. I just assume he was too excited about his working truck, he completely forgot about the consequences.lol. hey, I think your wife is trying to encourage you to get your own blog now. Please let me know if you do create one.

  12. January 6, 2013 at 9:28 pm

    Accomplished? Who’s accomplished, lol. Ojai, where I live has some great sites for cycles, auto outing, and bike tournaments. We had Lance Armstrong here (before the debacle) with Cherly Crow when they were together for the biking tour through and around town. Sounds like this would be a place for you and your family to really enjoy.

    My hubby got your message and I’m afraid he’s a little allergic to blogging and now he’s claiming he’s had the best so why continue, meaning hooking up with you, his big debut, lol.

    It’s been a lot of fun, you have a really fun, sweet, site that I’ve managed to cruise through, to my dismay because I’m so busy and it’s annoying when I do find another thing to read that I really want to. The page to your wife is very endearing,especially the one about Valentine’s day with the boys, etc. – good on you, kiddo. 🙂

    • January 7, 2013 at 5:02 pm

      ummm. I think somebody has a NOVEL out in a book form.lol If that isn’t accomplished I don’t know what is.lol
      You are definitely living in paradise; I guess work is the only thing that can prevent you from taking in all that fun.
      Based on your hubby’s claim about blogging, I think one can infer he is very low maintenance and easy upkeep.lol I’m glad you had lots of fun with my site, and it was very fun interacting with both of you, too!

  13. January 7, 2013 at 6:57 pm

    You got it. He’s wonderfully low maintenance. So am I, she protests, lol. Have a great week. 🙂

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