Home > children, family, wife > bad tragedy affecting my house purchase

bad tragedy affecting my house purchase

Yesterday was supposed to be a pretty exciting day for me.  I purchased a short sale house, bought it for $250k less than what it was appraised, and we finally closed on it yesterday, yay!

My wife and I were there as buyers and there was only one person as a seller.  This was odd because there were two names on the property deed.  Not only that, the seller was a mess.  She looked like she hasn’t slept for days and was on a verge of having a mental breakdown, right in that office.  Everybody understood the mood and nobody said anything, other than the closing agent instructing us what to do. 

As everybody is signing documents, I couldn’t help notice tears rolling down the seller’s face as she was trying ever so hard to swallow back whatever emotion was trying to surface.  She was quivering so much, I felt sick for being the one to “take” her property 😦

Her story goes few months back.  Just before Christmas, there was a horrific car accident that involved a small motor vehicle and a garbage dump truck.  The dump truck driver ran a red light and basically leveled the other car, instantly killing the driver.  That driver was the seller’s husband. 

She is left with three children, with the youngest boy being about the same age as my kids.  The husband had a successful business and made lots of money.  Unfortunately, for as successful as he was, he didn’t have any life insurance, and the wife had no clue about his business.  Long story short, she lost EVERYTHING in matter of months! 

I actually couldn’t sleep last night because I felt like shit.  This is a perfect example of morality vs. business.  The agent did reassure me this has nothing to do with me.  The seller made a deal with the bank and she will get paid some money, because the property sold.  Agent told me the sale price has nothing to do with how much the seller gets paid.  The agent also told me that the seller was very happy to see her property go to such a wonderful family. 

So today, I am trying to come up with anything to make my conscience feel better.  If there is a bible expert out there please correct me on this, but I’m pretty sure there is something about helping out a needy widow.   

I am in the middle of writing a personal letter to the seller.  In it, I will be offering to let her and her kids live in the property until she is able to stand on her own again.  I am also offering her one of my cars until she is able to afford one of her own.  I thought about giving her money, but she has so many creditors after her right now, it’s just going to get confiscated.


update 5/7/2012

Her agent is telling me, the seller just wants to be left alone and doesn’t want to talk to anybody.  She has moved in with her family, and her kids have transferred to a different school.  She knows my offer will always be there for her.  I’ll just remain on standby until I hear something back.

Categories: children, family, wife
  1. April 25, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    Wow…you just blew me away by this post. Seriously, Chris…this is amazing. I’ll be happy to share some Bible verses with you when I get a moment, but let me just say, you are living out the essence of Christianity with this kind of heart!

    • April 25, 2012 at 4:32 pm

      Oh man, I would REALLY appreciate that because I just know it in my gut that I’m supposed to do something, but I don’t know exactly what.

      • April 25, 2012 at 5:06 pm

        I think you’re on the right track in wanting to help. I’d definitely pray & talk to the “Mrs.”…you’ll make the right choices! You’re a good man.

        And because you’re a good man, here is the long-awaited award!:


        • April 25, 2012 at 8:28 pm

          I did send out the email to the agent. She said she will forward that to the seller. I’ll wait and see what happens next.

          Thanks for the honor! I’ll have to check it out after dinner 🙂

  2. April 25, 2012 at 5:11 pm

    Wow, that is great – Congratulations on your new home =-)

    Now to address your mixed emotions. This story is quite touching. You blew me away also. I think offering her shelter within that home and a car to use would be more than enough help. I am sure she would be very thankful to see some comfort in her time of need & loss.

    I am actually quite speechless. It is people like you that make me feel like there is still humane people with a live conscious out there. I guess it is the “father figure” instinct instilled in you that is willing to offer the “helping hand”. Hopefully the woman is able to re-cooperate in a timely fashion.

    God bless you, I think offering your car is a little risky. But power to you & your plan!

    • April 25, 2012 at 8:36 pm

      Thanks for making me feel like a good person 🙂 but this is something, I hope, every person should do, when presented with the same situation. It should almost be an obvious thing to do, and I shouldn’t really deserve any praise for doing something that is…umm…common sense act.
      I see your point about the car, I’ll defnitely ramp up the insurance coverage on it. Thanks for the heads up 🙂

      • April 25, 2012 at 10:25 pm

        Your welcome && if only everyone was as generous & thoughtful.

        Good luck, hopefully everything works out well 🙂

        • April 25, 2012 at 11:57 pm

          Thank you. I can only hope things will only get better from here on out.

  3. April 25, 2012 at 7:25 pm

    What an awful experience – for her and for you. I’m no Bible expert, but I’m sure your offer will make a huge difference in her life. It’s a wonderful solution for someone who is already overwhelmed by trying to deal with money.

    And despite everything, I hope you won’t let your conscience bother you. As the agent says, somebody would have bought it anyway – she’s lucky it was you.

    • April 25, 2012 at 8:43 pm

      oh wow, thanks for that really nice comment Diane. I think you are right, I shouldn’t feel so bad about being the person to purchase the property, it would have been somebody else. I’m just going to focus on getting her back on her feet again.

      This might be a good time to revist life insurance policy.

  4. April 25, 2012 at 9:46 pm

    Chris I was so touched and impressed with this post. I agree with you, sometimes there is a whisper that although something isn’t “usual” or “normal” you just know in your heart that it is the right thing to do. It is love and caring for others like this that truly makes the world a better place and it happens one person at a time. My guess is that your gift will allow her to move one and you will be in your new home before you know it, with everyone involved richer for the experience. Good luck with it all.

    • April 26, 2012 at 12:10 am

      I think you nailed it on the head. You are right about the “whisper” and the right thing to do. I don’t exactly know what to do, but I know what I can offer.
      Thanks for your encouraging words, and I do agree love, care, and kindness does start with one person at a time 🙂

      • April 26, 2012 at 9:40 pm

        Unchartered waters but listen to your heart, it will guide you 🙂

  5. April 25, 2012 at 9:47 pm

    *move on not move one 😦

    • April 26, 2012 at 12:14 am

      I love all your one liners 🙂

  6. April 26, 2012 at 8:50 am

    God bless you. I know what it’s like to be a widow with a young child – I did it at age 22. I didn’t have help and it was a tough row to hoe. The LORD will bless you abundantly as you, in turn, bless this widow. It’s uplifting to others to see a GOOD side to humanity, so thank you for sharing this with us. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own llife that we forget that others have it so much worse.

    • April 26, 2012 at 10:14 am

      I think I have personal connection to this poor lady because I grew up very poor, and I have experienced terrible people taking advantage of my parent’s situation. Infact that was my first reaction when I learned of her tragedy. I was so afraid of all these bad people trying to take advantage of her, and I just felt like I had to put a stop to it. I was too young to help my parents when they were being taken advantage of, but now I’m much wiser to handle this type of thing.

  7. cookiemomma
    April 26, 2012 at 6:28 pm

    Wow! That is so heartbreaking. I am going to be the one to sound like an a## here but it was very irresponsible of the adults. I know that most people don’t see things this way, but when we purchased our house we made sure our life insurance would cover the price of the house if either of us were to pass. I would hate to leave anyone else with my debt and problems. The grief of losing a loved one is tough enough and then to have to deal with the financial issues makes it even worse. Congratulations on the new home, I know you and your family will make it a happy home again. My heart and prayers do go out to the other family and hope that things do get better for them.

    • April 26, 2012 at 6:39 pm

      The widow is a pure housewife, no higher education, and only knows how to take care of kids and her husband. I really do fault the husband because he should have known better, and was irresponsible in every way. Honestly, I don’t even know what kind of job she can find with her current background 😦
      Thank you for your kind words, and I’m glad your family is protected from such potential disaster like this.

  8. cookiemomma
    April 26, 2012 at 6:48 pm

    Thank you and you’re welcome. I can relate because my sister and my aunts are all housewives and never even thought of getting out there in the workforce, I had no other choice…lol

  9. April 26, 2012 at 7:23 pm

    no choice, but certainly a good choice in the long run 🙂

  10. April 27, 2012 at 4:02 am

    Firstly it great to see you are willing to step in and be a blessing rather than leave it to someone else.
    I think the verse that is rattling around inside your memory is this;
    “Religion which God our Father as pure and faultless is this ; to look after widows and orphans in their distress and keep oneself from being polluted by the world”.
    The other one is surely the parable of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10.
    Its great to read your post, I’d love to read an update sometime.

    • April 27, 2012 at 9:50 am

      Yes, that is the one. I always get awestruck when there is a very specific guidline within the “humanity handbook”. There is no reading between the lines or left for interpretations to be had with that verse. Thanks for stopping by sharing your time with my blog. I will update something on this situation as soon as I hear something back. Only thing I’ve done was send out my letter, via email, to the seller’s agent. Thank you for the confirmation on the verse.

  11. April 27, 2012 at 4:52 am

    Perhaps the quote you want is this: “Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world.” James 1:27 HCSB There is no real risk if you are following God’s plan. Blessings on you.

    • April 27, 2012 at 9:56 am

      To me, when I read that line, I see it as a direct order. There is no controversy over interpretation with that verse, thus making it that much more important to me. Thank you for your comment.

  12. April 29, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    That’s really generous of you. I hope that woman and her children little by little may cope with this terrible situation they are living.

    • April 29, 2012 at 9:41 pm

      Thank you. Its definitely one thing to hear about it in the local news, but its completely different when you are face-to-face with the victim.
      No phone call yet. I’m planning on doing a follow up call with the agent tomorrow. Thank you for stopping by. I always appreciate it when a first time visitor leaves a comment on my page.

  13. April 30, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    I am currently moving into a home with my friend James that he just bought shortsale. He’s only 24 and an engineer for Boeing so he’s essentially buying property because he can, then renting out the extra rooms to college students. It’s selling as is and the whole place is trashed. They were hoarders and there is a weed farm in the basement. I’m also pretty sure they were “cooking” in a tarped over trailer in the yard. I have a hard time feeling as sorry for them because they’re essentially crack addicts, nobody has died and left them destitute and they are a wreck. However, they are going through the same thing, losing their home and moving into someone’s basement somewhere. It’s not my friend’s fault that they had a bad run of luck, maybe it isn’t even their fault, maybe they were born into that world and never escaped. The point I guess is, in both cases, the fault of the buyer is equal. It’s easier to sympathize with a situation that seems so relavent to your own situation in life, a middle class family fallen onto hard times after a death. I think that’s why you feel particularly conflicted. If anything thank god they found you, now they don’t have to foreclose and they can move on past the first hard step towards getting back to their lives.

    • May 8, 2012 at 3:19 pm

      and i’m sure all the neighbors are GLAD your friend rescued the property. Speaking of which, he sounds like a really good lad. Seems focused, educated, and knows how to invest his money wisely. I hear its really difficult to find a guy like that, especially at only 24 years of age. Hope he finds a nice gal someday 🙂
      Thanks for stopping by, fela

  14. April 30, 2012 at 10:39 pm

    Wow, what a tough story to hear. We just bought our first house and I am always curious as to why people sell their homes. After hearing all of that, it is really generous of you to offer to help her out. Hope everything works out!

    • April 30, 2012 at 10:47 pm

      first things first, CONGRATULATIONS on your first new home. That has got to be an amazing feeling, its huge milestone achievement as a couple. I’m not exactly sure why people sell their homes, but I do think there is a sad story behind every heavily-discounted homes like a shortsale, auction, and forclosures. This one was pretty rough and I’m working on some damage control with my wife, too. She is kind of glum about moving into a house with so much sadness. Best I can do is follow my conscience and try to make my wife feel better. Its almost as if I need to get some kind of closure with the seller, in order to make my wife feel better. Thanks for checking in and I especially appriciate a new commenter participating in my blog!

  15. May 7, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    Thank you for reminding me that there are still some “Good” people left in the world! I think what you and your wife offered this family is phenomenal! I wish all the families involved the best of luck!

    • May 8, 2012 at 3:26 pm

      Thank you for your uplifting comment on the subject 🙂
      I’m actually deeply encouraged by all the generous comments left by everybody. I can only hope everybody else in my situation would have done the same. Unless I’m proved otherwise, I will firmly believe that 🙂

  16. purpleowltree1234
    May 8, 2012 at 2:39 am

    Okay. Now I know I’ve found a Blog I’m not leaving. I’ve seen so much tragedy in life, and it is Extremely Rare that people help out at All, let alone with such generousity and selflessness- and *compassion*. Please let us know how she responds. This has made me so happy to read. We who have read this are in this journey now too, so keep us informed. 🙂 I think you and your wife are absolutely wonderful. If every person acted out of compassion in whatever capacity they were able to, the world would be a completely better place. The world is better for having you and your wife in it. Thank you for caring about others so sincerely.
    Love from Rach

    • May 8, 2012 at 4:30 pm

      oh man, you words made my eyes a little tingly. You are another one of those talented bloggers that has the “it” factor.
      I don’t really have anything new to update. I just know that she is living with her relatives and her kids have relocated their school. She has my cell number and my email, so I am on a standby mode. I think it will be a much better assumption if we say most of the people will do the same thing 🙂

      • Anonymous
        May 8, 2012 at 8:44 pm

        I agree that that would be a much better assumption, but I don’t think it would be accurate. Sadly.. (((hug))) for you and your wife! Love from Rach

  17. purpleowltree1234
    May 8, 2012 at 2:50 am

    Oh no! I just read your update- how did I miss that first time around? I’m so sorry. It feels like there’s no closure when it’s an answer like that. 😦 Thank you for being a light in the world, and for your great compassion to humanity. Be gentle on yourselves. ((((hugs)))) for you and your wife. Love from Rach

  18. May 8, 2012 at 4:31 pm

    awe, thanks Rach! I’ll be sure to post a new blog if she contacts me.

  1. April 11, 2017 at 1:39 pm

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