40 Year Old Virgin (part 1)
Going to take a break from happy family stuff and focus on something little different, single guy with no family. I have a very close friend who happens to be single, and he is dying to get married to that someone special, its something he wants more than anything else in this world. I’ll let his stats speak for itself.
SWM, 6’1”, 210 lbf, 39years old, brunette (resembles Ben Affleck), making six figure salary, has a large single family home, loves to cook healthy meals, is a musician and plays all instruments, oil painter, and an electrical engineer. This is guy is that guy from school that has it all, looks, brain, and talent oozing out of every orifice. Oh, one more thing, he is also a virgin.
If my sister was single, I would coerce her into marrying “Ben Affleck”. My kids call him uncle, and I trust him 100% with my own kids. He is as loyal as it gets, when it comes to friends. So how can he be single? He has a big problem holding down relationship along with very eccentric view of marriage. I know this may sound cliché but he wants a woman that has it all. Let me elaborate.
Case 1. He is a virgin because he wants to save himself for that someone special, whom he hopes is doing the same thing. Biggest issue is finding a woman in her 30s that is a virgin. He actually dated one girl of that quality and they ended up breaking up after several months. They broke up because he wanted to hold her hand and kiss her toward end of their relationship, and she freaked out and called him a pervert. Lesson learned here is, he does not want to marry a “prude”.
Case2. He recently dated a nurse that was helping him with a physical therapy. This relationship also ended after few months. She was lot better at showing him affection than the previous lady, maybe little too much. She would constantly sleep over at his house, and sometimes in the same room. “Ben” really liked this girl and wanted everything to work out with her, BUT… she was driving him insane. Imagine his struggle, there is a beautiful girlfriend sleeping in your room, but you got to fight yourself not to do anything to touch her in any way. I would know immediately when Ben had his girlfriend over at his house. He would look like a crazed man, in complete disarray, coming into work with zero sleep, and looking more like a uni-bomber than a Hollywood actor. Transform is quite shocking.
Case3. Dated one more girl that seemed to be perfect. He actually proposed to her and she accepted!! hooray!!…nope, this one failed after 6months. It all happened after the engagement, he decided to meet her family for Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving party went great, everybody loved him, including all children that were there. He even had chance to play the guitar for everybody to enjoy. You can imagine Julie Andrew in Sound of music, with all those kids in the field singing do-rae-mi, well, that was Ben at this Thanksgiving party. His fiancé was furious at him. She went off on him about the guitar, singing, and attracting too much attention.
Its all fun and games till somebody gets hurt. Ben is currently on anti-depressant because he wants a woman so badly. He sees all his friends getting married, having children, and not hanging out with him anymore. He loves children so much but he can’t have any right now. He wants to sleep with a woman but he can’t.
Every woman he dates makes him even more depressed. He hates dating older women because he says they are too depressing or too bossy. He hates dating younger women because he says they have too many unrealistic dreams and goals, and too much energy that wears him out. But more importantly he can’t seem to find a real virgin that behaves like a …ummmm… non-virgin.
He says looks don’t matter but I’ve known him long enough to know what he is attracted to and what he isn’t attracted to. He attracted to someone who is also tall, slim, and fit. He really has a thing for all the female elven characters from Lord of the Rings. All this plus she needs to be in her 30s and a virgin that is not so prude. I guess you can’t really fault him for wanting all this because he is the one that has to live with this lady, and you really can’t help what you like and dislike.
I truly wish he would meet that perfect woman because he is a really good caring guy. He is on anti-depressant because there is a huge mental conflict that he cannot deal with, alone. He wants to date and get to know somebody, but at the same time, his urge to have sex is too overwhelming, and he is afraid to get to know somebody for fear of wanting to go to bed with her.
I suggested maybe he should just do “it” and get it over with. Why choose to be dependent on narcotic when you don’t have to? But at the same time, he waited this long to remain who he is, what if he ends up finding the perfect person right after he does it? That would really suck. Another friend suggested one of those mail order brides from another country, but that’s just too weird.