Help, missing my darn wife…again
I have to write this blog because I can’t take it anymore, she is driving me insane. I hope I am not alone when I say this but why is it so damn difficult to get hold of her when I need her the most. I, maybe, call her once or twice throughout my day, and there is probably one or two occasions every month where I REALLY need to talk to her for some non-life threatening emergency. But every time I make that desperate call to my wife, she is never there. In theory she is somewhere between home, kid’s school, and occasionally grocery stores, when I do try to reach her she never picks up! I would be less upset if she calls me back after an hour or two, but of course that is asking for the world. I get the usual excuses such as,
My battery drained, I had it on silent, I couldn’t hear it ring, I didn’t take my phone, etc.…pretty much everything except for “my dog ate the phone” excuse.
I’ve done everything I can to combat this. We got the exact same matching phone so I can easily swap out her battery incase her charge is running low, got her an unlimited text plan, unlimited internet plan, setup multiple email accounts to sync with her smartphone and laptop, got her a new portable laptop, she has the iPad. There is nothing more I can do, given the current limitation of technology. You would think all this change would make a difference, but I wouldn’t be blogging about it if it did. Only difference it made was create newer, more creative excuses for why she didn’t get my messages hours ago.
I think I’m a very understanding husband but I feel this is inexcusable because my wife is the smartest person I know. I’m your typical single processor husband that has limited memory(rom and ram) capacity and can only perform single task at a time. My wife, on the other hand, can, figuratively speaking, tear up my liquid cooled six core i7 machine to pieces! She NEVER forgets anything, memorizes any number combination with ease, she can multi task beyond belief, she is very efficient, and never runs out of power. How can a unit with that kind of impressive spec not be able to respond to a simple call, email, & text? It just doesn’t make any logical sense.
Luckily, because of my limited memory capacity, I can wake up the next day and forget most of the details as to why I got so upset trying to reach her. But, unfortunately, I do retain enough bits and pieces of it to still drive my nutz. I do recall it happening frequently enough and I know I’m suppose to get really upset by it.
Mr. Dell/Mr. Gates/spirit of Mr. Jobs, I am pleading with you to come up with some kind of solution that will rectify this dubious black hole of communication. Whatever this new device is, it needs to have these characteristics:
1. must come in gold or platinum finish.
2. must come packaged in nice velvety blue sack.
3. retail price must be pretty high but with big discount at the store for husbands to purchase.
4. absolutely no wires or cords must be visible
5. infinite battery life is a must
6. GPS tracking feature is optional