Home > children, family, wife > My blog of 2012: Ode to Thomas and Friends

My blog of 2012: Ode to Thomas and Friends

December 28, 2012 Leave a comment Go to comments
First Thomas toy

First Thomas toy

As I’m sitting down to write my thoughts down on my two little toddlers, I can’t help but to get choked up and get caught up with regrets. I miss my two infant boys, terribly. All the times I was upset at them, or all the time I pushed them to be more independent and to leave me alone, I wish I could have just slowed it down and accepted it all. I wish I could have taken more naps with them while gently cradling their soft baby skin, but instead I was on the computer. Regret over all those pictures taken with a camera phone, because I was too lazy to grab a real camera. Countless opportunities to see them in a little song and dance performances, but I was out having lunch with clients and co-workers. I can’t redo any of these things because kids are older. I now realize, we are at a closing of a chapter where my two little toddlers are no longer toddlers, they are boys. This is an irreversible milestone; there is nothing I can do to relive the previous pages of their lives, and it hurts. Thomas & friends represent everything I miss about my two babies.

‘Thomas and friends’ go beyond rank of toys, it takes on a rank as a family or a friend.  I was really disappointed when, for the first time, my boys didn’t want any Thomas&friends item for Christmas…It was sad because they are not babies anymore, and I’m not mentally ready to let it go yet. Out of all the things I’ve done with the boys, T&F(Thomas & Friends) has the most amount of hours logged, with some of the best memories.  Only daddy is able to build the ‘Big Big Bridge’ like nobody else can. Only daddy can build the awesome cool ramps that make trains fly with paper wings taped on its back.  These toys have given me so much and I am not going to let these friends to die off like this, I need to send these little choo-choos off with a very honorable discharge, with a medal of honor if you will.

Pic#1 is the first train we ever purchased; it’s what I secretly carry in my work bag.  My wife and kids think I threw this in the trash along with bunch of other toys, because I was upset over their toys being all-over the living room.  Most of their first set of trains are in terrible condition because they do get smashed quite often.  I wanted to salvage little Thomas to serve as a compressed memory of their babyhood.  Every time I hold this toy in my hand, I get flooded with baby memories.  I’ve shed some tears just thinking back to when they were so tiny and just babbling.  I reminisce about their struggle during tummy time or when they took their very first step.  I think about the moment when my oldest made his journey from my hands to the nearest sofa.  He was happy as a clam, squealing and laughing while pounding the sofa seat, all in the little yellow striped onesie outfit w/ big diaper bottom.  All these wonderful memories captured inside a little beat-up train toy…

still functional

still functional

Pic #2 is a picture of my boys’ 1st starter underwear when they graduated from pull-ups.  My oldest boy had it first, and then it was handed down to the wee-bear who is now 4.5yr old.  My wife and I can’t stop laughing when the wee bear runs around with this battered undie on, with all its tears and holes.  We call him the ‘Incredible Wee Hulk’ because that’s what happens to Bruce Banner’s clothing when he turns into the Hulk.  This undie is finally getting retired this year because it is one cycle away from losing its functionality per outlined in this write-up.
‘Can underwear outlast a marriage?

Sadly this will go in my treasure box that consist of their first beige colored baseball cap with little bear ears, and their first pair of shoes (size of my thumb!) Gosh they were so cute wearing that stuff.  I’m proud of my boys because they are following my footstep of appreciating everything, recycling, and using items until it’s beyond repair, like their paper thin undies.

Here is a list of all my favorite Thomas & Friends characters and what they accomplished for me:

***Warning: List may contain possible adult language***

  1. Thomas ‘the cheeky one’: He is the little engine that could.  There is a lot to like about this guy because he is little, compassionate, follows orders, and loves helping friends out.  If there is a perfect role model outside of mommy and daddy, it’s definitely this little #1 engine.
  2. Gordon ‘rumbles down the line’: Big powerful steam engine with pretty big ego.  He is a great character for my kids to imagine what it would be like to be bigger but also teaches them it’s not nice to walk around with big ego.
  3. Lady: She is the only female train character we have.  As you can tell from the first picture, my boys are extremely rough with their toys.  Lady was brought in to establish some order and calmness with their play style.  I SPECIFICALLY told them to be gentle with Lady, because it is a girl.  Needless to say, it’s the only T&F toy that is in excellent condition with all her colors.
  4. Spencer: He is fast, shiny, looks cool, but is very arrogant.  He is another one that served its purpose by teaching my boys to separate out the good and the bad.  Appreciating someone’s beauty and power is good, but arrogance is bad.  Concept of arrogance is very difficult to teach, but having Spencer around was a great help.  Thanks Spencer.
  5. Percy ‘pulls the mail on time’: my my my…I wanted to save the baddest little engine for last.  This little green character sent me in a full panic mode!  Normally he is meek, gentle, and is Thomas’ best friend.  He truly teaches how one friend should treat another.  Here is a little story on how I got acquainted with little Percy.  I came home from work and I asked my little wee-bear, “What do you want on your birthday?”  To that he replied, “I want pu-cy for my birthday”.  Now with more seriousness I asked again, to which he replied with, “I  want pu-cy for my birthday”.  I panicked because this is the kind of stuff that lands deadbeat dad in jail!  I called for emergency meeting with my wife and told her this had to get resolved ASAP!  I didn’t care for her explanation about the “r difficulty” and a toy character named ‘Percy’; I wasn’t going to jail over this.  We practiced countless hours with the letter “r”.

I look at my boys now and can’t believe how big and independent they have become.  They inflict a lot of damage when they jump into our bed now.  There is nothing scarier in the morning than opening your eyes to a wild toddler, airborne and barely missing the family jewel upon landing.  I’ll yell at them, I’ll scold them, but I know with 100% certainty that I will miss these morning attacks.  When they were babies, all I wanted was for them to grow up quickly so they would be more independent.  Now that they are independent, I want my babies back.  What is going on? I miss them terribly.  I know you can argue that I can still do these things with them, but it’s not the same.

I don’t usually have morbid thoughts, but with all the tragic deaths in the news and worrying about my wife and two kids, it’s hard not to.  If I get into a fatal car accident tomorrow, or some lunatic fires a fatal blow, I plan on using the last remaining breath to hold the Thomas train(picture #1) with my right hand and place my left hand, with the wedding band touching little Thomas, close against my heart.  I can’t think of a better way to make the best of the given situation than that.   I would be at peace…

This music video sums up everything and I think it’s the perfect music to close the chapter on a group of very special friends, Thomas and friends. They will all be missed and will always have a spot in this dad’s heart.  Here is Thomas & Friends with Josh Groban:

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Categories: children, family, wife
  1. December 28, 2012 at 10:18 pm

    Love this post, but it made me sad. Can totally relate. Ah well…Happy new year my friend.

    • December 29, 2012 at 12:58 pm

      Yep, just when you start appreciating everything about your children, they grow up on you :(
      Happy New year to you, too!

  2. December 29, 2012 at 1:14 am

    Your honesty as usual is refreshing and amazing. I know it’s easy to say “don’t have regrets” but let those missed times be a catalyst to make changes now and they will never remember what happened before! This was a sweet post with the Thomas images along with your descriptions of your family. Hope you are all enjoying the holiday season together!

    • December 29, 2012 at 1:05 pm

      you are right. All those missed moments will be the catalyst to make some adjustments for 2013. Thomas charcters did freak me out in the beginning because of the weird faces on a toy train, reminding me of of frankenstein, but it grows on you :)
      My time off from work has been great. Definitely trying to make the best of it. Hope you are enjoying your little time off from all your busy schedule, too :)

  3. December 29, 2012 at 11:10 am

    I really love this post, chris…. It’s sincere, honest.
    Only one word: amazing.

    • December 29, 2012 at 1:28 pm

      Thank you Ms.Veronica :) my 2012 will be remembered as the year when my babies grew up :(

  4. December 29, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    We can’t change what we did or didn’t do in the past but, we can change how we are today and tomorrow. I hope this helps a little.

    • December 29, 2012 at 7:25 pm

      Yep, thats all I can do from here on out. At least I have great collection of baby items as a keepsake. Thanks for stopping by on your purple elephant.

  5. December 29, 2012 at 11:37 pm

    Awe! You just tore my heart out. If only all dads took the time to even think that way this world would be a better place. Know that soon there will be other toys like radio controlled helicopters and cars that only daddy will be great at working. Archery is a big thing with Nicholas now but I have to admit I’m better at that than daddy. :) Bike riding with ramps that only daddy can build, etc. There’s so much more ahead. Just remember to cherish every minute because each one is priceless and don’t feel guilty for doing the grown up thing “work” Bc without that our kiddos wouldn’t have things to enjoy! :) happy new year <3

    • December 30, 2012 at 11:03 pm

      I think kids that grow up too fast make all parents little sad :(. Most loving dads probably does think like this. They are probably lot more suble and almost secretivie with the way they show care toward their loved ones. As far as my wife and kids are concerned, they think I threw that Thomas toy train in the trash because I got angry over hurting my foot over one of their toys. I’m sure my wife will be surprised to discover what I’ve been doing with Thomas.
      I’m currently getting the boys involved with my car hobby, but your r/c and archery ideas are great for few minutes here and there. I think you are just better with any type of projectile device.lol
      I will have to try and cherish every minute I have with them, I leaned such an important lesson this Christmas. Gosh… you have no idea how much I’ll miss my boys playing with Thomas and friends…
      Happy new year, Christie!

  6. December 30, 2012 at 8:33 am

    They are lucky to have a Dad who saw what he could have or should have. We all make mistakes some we can never repair and others we get chance after chance to do it right. You keep loving your kids so they can grow up and shower love on others in their lives.

    Eunice

    • December 30, 2012 at 11:41 pm

      I’m trying Eunice, I’m really trying :) It just becomes so difficult to ‘let go’ when I’m looking through all their baby items. Why are babies so darn cute! You are right, there will be mistakes, and thats just the way it is. You nailed it on the head, I just have to keep loving my kids the best way I know how :)

      • December 31, 2012 at 9:08 pm

        :) Just love them and let them know every day they are loved and there is a good chance they will be better men and great Dad’s as well.

        Happy New Years to you and your family Chris.

        Eunice

        • January 2, 2013 at 10:25 am

          Those lil’ rugrats got lot of papa loving over the holidays. I actually spent most of the break hanging out with the family, while refraining from work :)

  7. December 30, 2012 at 10:14 pm

    Oh, that made me sad. I spend half my days wishing my son would grow up faster, and the other half I spend hugging him to me and telling him that mommy loves her baby.

    G-D willing I’m there on his wedding day, I’ll cry like a lunatic.

    I loved this post…

    • December 30, 2012 at 11:21 pm

      I think you are at the phase that I’m missing so much, and I know what you mean about wanting him to grow up faster. I never understood why people cry over wedding day or graduation…now I do. Take lots of high def pictures and videos :)

  8. January 3, 2013 at 10:41 pm

    So sincere and honest. It was very sad but good to hear of how quickly you lost your toddlers. I feel your pain! I am at the point I feel my grandchildren are growing up too fast! Hope you enjoy the next stages as well!

    • January 4, 2013 at 10:00 am

      well, at least its good to know I’ll get this opportunity again when I’m a grandparent :)
      They DO grow up too fast and I just wish there was something I can do to hang on to the moment just a bit longer. I’m really uncertain about their next stages…teen pregnancies, violence, defiance, driver’s license, drugs, alcohol…ugggg. Can I please go back to changing diapers and opening Gerber baby foods, and watching Thomas and Friends with them? :(

  9. January 3, 2013 at 11:34 pm

    Hey Chris, your writing is beautiful, so intimate. I’m afraid you’re looking in the rear view mirror instead of enjoying what’s in front and coming up. Your boys are little pals. Revel in their growth so you and your wife can breathe. Raising kids is a job. And you probably are the bread winner so cut your self some slack and live day to day. Teach them to throw a ball around, hit a bat and not each other.
    Thanks for checking out my posts. Love your comments-getting to know you.

    • January 4, 2013 at 10:07 am

      I will admit, I’m very nervous about the future. Thinking about dealing and helping them out with all the adult related issues is too much to handle :( It feels rather unfair for them to go from here to ….adulthood :(
      But, yeah, they are my little pals.lol and I do love scratching them up with my facial hair while I lock them up in a pappa bear hug.lol
      Thanks for your uplifting comment and I’m always appreciative when an author stops by to tell my my stuff isn’t crap :) Loving your comments and your blog!

  10. January 4, 2013 at 2:20 am

    It’s been a sad time all around… so sad.
    Glad to reconnect with you this year …
    •.★♥★Happy New Year to You & Yours!★♥★.•
    Eliz

    • January 4, 2013 at 10:19 am

      yes, 2012 was little rough. When I woke up on 1/1/2013, there was a feeling of “new start” and it was refreshing. Here is to positive and happy 2013, and reconnecting with past bloggers :)
      Happy New Year, Eliz.

  11. January 4, 2013 at 9:08 pm

    My gosh you are a nice guy. I see why you were given the super sweet and sunshine blog awards. Like you I savor every minute of childhood with my little one. She’s 4 now and I miss the infant and the first step and the wobbly walking. But I also look forward to what’s next. I never thought I’d have a child at all. She is my gift. I thoroughly enjoyed your reminiscing. They are fortunate to have you for a dad. I’m glad you discovered my blog so I could discover yours.

    • January 5, 2013 at 11:48 am

      Thanks Emma, I suppose I can be one of many many nice guys out there, thats trying not to finish last.lol Speaking of awards and nominations, I need to give back to my blogging community soon :)
      So sweet! you have a 4yr old. My ‘wee hulk bear’ is 4.5yr old, so you do know exactly what I’m speaking of.lol.
      I think one of my other intent of this blog is to let others know, although daddy may not show all the right emotions or say the right things, he is deeply in love with his children, too :) I’m hoping every mother would think about this before getting upset at their hubby for their lack of family participation :) I think of all the things my wife and I argue about, that one hurts me the most.

  12. January 5, 2013 at 8:16 pm

    That was truly lovely and heartfelt. Treasure every minute, it’s never too late. Your children and wife are lucky to have you!

    • January 5, 2013 at 11:50 pm

      You are right, every minute is precious! I have some big plans for 2013 and I will be cherishing every one of those :)

  13. January 5, 2013 at 10:42 pm

    Tender. Your boys are lucky to have you. I hear all of your points as I have three boys 12, 9, and the bonus round boy is 4.5. Love the pic of the well-loved Thomas. My boys weren’t Thomas kids, but I feel you all the same.

    • January 5, 2013 at 11:55 pm

      I see what happened between your 12yr old and 4.5yr old…you were missing your “baby”, too.lol. 3 boys??!! you must be exhausted everyday. We have hard time keeping up with our 2 boys.lol. We talk about wanting a daughter, but we can’t afford the risk of having a 3rd boy.hahaha

      • January 6, 2013 at 12:50 am

        Hahaha! Yeah, I call him our bonus round because he was so unplanned. I really wanted him to be a girl when I first found out (after never wanting the others to be girls), but now I am grateful everyday. And yes, it has been amazing to have a do-over with a different perspective knowing how fast it truly goes. Enjoy my friend!

        • January 6, 2013 at 2:57 pm

          hmmm, how very inspirational :) I really like that, “it has been amazing to have a do-over..”. I bet it would be. So having another son ended up being manageable? We are looking into possibly adopting a daugter in the near future :) We’ll see how that goes.

          • January 6, 2013 at 6:05 pm

            That’s awesome. I used to say if I had a third child I would adopt a girl from China. I have many friends who have adopted as well as biological children. I love it. So so great. I wish you all the best.

            • January 8, 2013 at 10:00 am

              yeah, we have couple of freinds that also adoped from places like China, where girls are still looked down upon. Does anybody know what happens to these unwanted female children there? :( so sad.
              My friends also did look at adopting a child from the states, but the “bureaucracy” was a big turn off, while the cost is about the same. I am liking the idea alot, but I think my wife is still on the fence..

  14. January 5, 2013 at 11:01 pm

    Very poignant post! Thank you for visiting my blog today and liking my latest entry. I hope you’ll be back again.

    • January 6, 2013 at 12:12 am

      Well, thank you for your visit. Your latest blog caught my interest with that lovely family picture, but then I was reading about weightlifting 60yr lady, 20″ biceps, 6’3″ man in a dress…etc. What reasonable person wouln’t hit a ‘like’ button after all that? lol

  15. January 6, 2013 at 10:38 pm

    Hi Chris, Welcome to parenthood, but you already knew that. :) Parenthood is full of missed moments and I think we all wish we could hit the rewind button now and then. Sounds like your boys still think you’re the best dad ever. Hang in there and seize the day from here on out. BTW, thanks for visiting my blog and liking my post about my dog. I’m gonna start following you just based on your post here!

    • January 7, 2013 at 4:17 pm

      Parenthood is certainly bitter sweet. What a grande idea it would be to have ability to rewind and relive certain moments with them :) My boys do think I’m the best dad ever, but I’m peanuts compared to bottomless love status of mommy :) Its a beautiful thing to witness.
      I love dogs and I love caring parents, too. Thats enought for me to hit the follow button as well :)

  16. January 8, 2013 at 11:50 am

    My younger son remains an incredibly devoted Thomas fan. I would be happy to see him go past this phase. However, I suppose when it is past, I may feel some nostalgia.

    • January 8, 2013 at 2:55 pm

      oh man, you know it! seeing their little hand grasping the llittle train is priceless.

  17. January 10, 2013 at 7:24 pm

    Beautiful memories cannot ever be taken away…!
    I store those memories in my heart and take a peek every so often. The memories I build today are not of a sweet little baby girl, but rather of a woman following in her mother’s footsteps creating memories to tuck into her heart….!

    • January 11, 2013 at 7:13 pm

      that is pretty awesome, I like that alot. The best memory of your child isn’t the little baby, but there is a much better memory later on…Thanks :)

  18. January 10, 2013 at 10:48 pm

    Thank you for visiting my blog and liking my post. I really enjoyed this post. I can relate. I am in those toddler years right now. The time is flying. I can’t believe she is going to be three in a couple months. It is amazing how they slow everything down, in a good way. I find myself to saying “mommy’s busy” to often. And then I try to remind myself to present for her because this moment will be gone and she will be grown up before I know it.

    It sounds like your children are still young. You can make a point to make those moments count now. It is a new year!

    • January 16, 2013 at 11:07 am

      awwwe, only 3 yrs old. Well I wish her a wonderful happy b-day, incase I miss out :)
      I’m sure you read about it from other parents with older kids, wishing to be in “your moment” once again.lol. I do wish I could be a stay home dad because I get frustrated over all the things I’m missing out on. I know its really difficult being a stay home mom and all, but I keep daydreaming about the grass on the other side.lol

  19. January 14, 2013 at 12:25 am

    May I tell you something? You have the rest of you life to make more memories. There will be more moments for you to take the opportunities you didn’t before. It’s never too late.

    • January 22, 2013 at 3:40 pm

      I’m trying Meanor…[sigh], but I see all these out of control teenagers at the mall, movie theaters, killings in the news, etc…and I get worried :(

      • February 22, 2013 at 2:26 am

        I wish I could say there was something you can do, but there is not. The best you can do is let your precious children understand the power of choice. I had garbage “parental” figures and yet I stayed away from drugs, stayed out of jail, and I am doing fairly well. It had nothing to do with their parenting besides I knew I always had a choice. I chose not to be like them.

  20. January 14, 2013 at 6:00 pm

    This post was beautifully scripted, I really enjoyed reading it. I cannot relate in the slightest as I do not have children, but the way you crafted your memory really tugged at my proverbial heartstrings. It is bittersweet like smiling through tears. Fantastico!

    • January 22, 2013 at 3:55 pm

      hahaha, Fela, you’ve been sounding like a different person as of late :) Did you do something dramatic with your life, or maybe change your diet?…how is that kimchi working out for ya? hehehe
      I can’t believe I’ve turned into a man that sits at a playground and actually enjoy watching little toddlers running around the place. In my more youthful days, I used to HATE being in the same plane with a toddler. Evolution is a funny thing.lol

  21. February 7, 2013 at 2:39 pm

    You summed childhood and growing up too fast perfectly. I wish I could rewind time.

    • February 7, 2013 at 3:57 pm

      I know!! The best I can do right now is to force them into their baby clothing that only come up to their elbows and knees, while they sing about little monkeys jumping on the bed and bumping their heads, against their wills.lol

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